Edge of a Broken Heart
by SisiDraig
Summary: SEQUEL - It’s a year on since ‘Everything and Nothing’ and Vince and Howard are having relationship problems because of the pressure from fans and family. Are they strong enough to make it through?
1. Chapter 1

**I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!**

**I know it hasn't been that long since my last story and I know I said it would be a while - but my English and French coursework is all over and I had a spare evening so I started writing the sequel a few of you asked for.**

**Dedicated to everyone who wanted a sequel - especially '**IamCaptainJacq24**', who gave me a whole list of things I could include, most of which I probably will.**

**D/C: Not mine!!**

* * *

**Bad Boy Rock and Roll Star Vince Noir Caught Canoodling With Teenage Girl**

Vince Noir, 28, seems to have come through his 'gay phase' and is now attaching himself to girls half his age. At a party last Friday, Noir was seen leaving with up and coming musician Hannah Laurell, 17, after the two had spent the entire evening kissing in the corner of the club.

"Hannah has always had a crush on Vince," says a source "when she heard he was coming tonight she got really excited and dressed up as much as she could. I think she told him she was 20 and then they started dancing, it wasn't long until they'd lock lips on the sofa."

Noir was seen to take Laurell back to his house, which he shares with long term partner Howard Moon. The young girl was not seen until the early hours of the next morning. "Howard was on [a rather unsuccessful jazz] tour at the time." says a friend of Hannah, "Maybe Vince just needed someone to keep the bed warm."

So it seems that Noir has finally become bored of Moon (who didn't see that coming?) but is the way forward girls almost half his age? We don't think so Vince but who are we to judge.

--

"VINCE! What the hell is this?" screamed Howard, waving the newspaper that he'd just found on the door step above his head.

"If you're going to show me yet another lie-newspaper article" sighed Vince, appearing in the big hallway. "And use it as 'evidence' that I've cheated on you, then I'm not interested."

"But the papers say…"

"I don't care." cut in Vince, sauntering sexily towards Howard. "We've been together for over a year Howard and we're still happy. The paparazzi don't want that, they want drama and controversy; break-ups and make-ups. The perfect happy couple is too… boring. Give me that." he said taking the paper and throwing it over his shoulder, before sliding his arms around Howard's neck. "You've got to stop believing everything you read in the paper, especially about me. You know it's not true, anyway, I was with _you_ last Friday." He reached up and kissed Howard gently. Howard relaxed and nodded.

"But I hate all this, you know, everyone in Britain's going to think you cheated on me and I'm going to look like a mug."

"And I'm going look like a pervert. Just ignore them."

"But I can't ignore them." Howard said, pushing Vince away suddenly. "They're relentless, everywhere I look it's: 'Noir Cheats on Moon', 'Noir searches for someone New', 'Noir _Predictably_ Moves On', 'Noir and Moon - The End is Nigh'…"

"Okay, I get the point." snapped Vince angrily. "The papers lie! I love you Howard nothing else matters but if you keep getting so paranoid then I may as well just…" Vince stopped suddenly.

"May as well just… what?" Howard questioned angrily.

"Nothing." mumbled Vince

"No! Go on. Finish the sentence Vince."

"Well, at the moment I'm getting all the agro of having an affair and none of the fun."

"You bitch!"

"Well you're doing my head in." Vince sulked childishly, kicking at the white washed walls."Don't do that." frowned Howard, looking at the scuff marks Vince had left on the walls. "So… what?" Howard asked. "You're going to sleep with someone because the papers say you do."

"NO! I would never do that to you. I never could." frustrated tears were beginning to force their way down the younger mans cheeks. "But you don't seem to be able to accept that Howard. You honestly think I could cheat on you. Do you distrust me that much?" With that, Vince ran from the house in floods of tears.

"Vince." Howard whispered as the door slammed in his face. Howard walked to the window and watched Vince run down the long drive into the sunset and sighed exasperatedly. He was increasingly beginning to sound like a nagging parent. Every time Vince came in late from a party, every time Vince broke something in a temper, every time Vince trashed the house with a party Howard would shout like an angry adult. He was sick of it. Vince was supposed to be his partner, not a moody teenager with a bad attitude.

It was just over an hour later when the front door slammed shut, announcing the return of Vince. Howard stood up from the kitchen table, where he'd been working on a few songs for a new album he was hoping to release soon, and walked into the hall. Vince looked up at him and blinked stupidly before grinning widely and shouting.

"HOWARD!"

"Vince." Howard nodded coldly.

"Iloveyou." Vince slurred, steadying himself on the wall as he stumbled towards the older man.

"Are you drunk?"

"No." Vince lied, shaking his head furiously, like a puppy desperately drying his fur.

"You are." the older man groaned as Vince knocked over a vase, which hit the floor with a loud crash.

Vince blinked and put a finger to his lips. "Shhhhhhhhhh." he hushed, "D'you hear that sound. That smash?"

"Go to bed Vince." Howard sighed, turning his back on the drunken man.

"Is that an offer? Coz that's a really rubbish chat up line." he giggled. "I've heard better tonight." Howard turned back solemnly and looked Vince right in the eye.

"I can't talk to you when you're like this… and we seriously need to talk. Go to bed Vince. I'll see you in the morning."

Vince, seemingly sensing the serious tone of Howard's voice, nodded silently and trudged up the stairs. Howard watched him go. It didn't matter how angry he was with the rock star he still couldn't take his eyes off him. Then, he returned to his music writing but he was too furious with Vince to concentrate.

The younger man knew that Howard hated it when he went out and got drunk alone for no reason and he'd been doing it more and more often recently. Maybe that's what had started all this friction between them or maybe it was the friction that had led to the drinking. Howard wasn't sure. One thing he was sure of, however, was that all these problems had started around the time Vince had got rid of his old drummer and brought in Chad, an American guy who Vince seemed to really like. Howard was bitterly aware that a lot of people considered Vince to be to good for him and maybe he was just paranoid, but it did cross his mind everyday that there could be something going on between the two of them. He didn't think Vince would cheat but ever since Chad had been on the scene Vince had been acting totally differently. He'd gone back to his arrogant, everyone loves me/ the world owes me something personality and although Howard didn't mind this side of Vince, he preferred those moments when the younger man really opened up to him and allowed himself to be vulnerable, but these moments were becoming few and far between.

Howard put down the pen and ran his hands through his hair. He didn't like the thought of lying in bed with Vince breathing stale, alcoholic breath over him all night, so he grabbed a blanket and set up camp on the sofa.


	2. Chapter 2

Vince woke up the next morning (or early afternoon, to be precise) with a blistering pain searing his skull. It didn't help that Howard was downstairs slamming doors as loud as he could. Vince groaned loudly as the room span when he tried to sit up. He couldn't remember much about last night but he knew that Howard had shouted at him and he didn't fancy facing him this morning. He could tell by the pristine state of the pillows next to him that Howard hadn't come to bed, so he knew he must have done something really bad. Howard had never slept on the sofa before… well, except for that time when Vince had been really sick and they'd both slept on the sofa because Vince didn't have the strength to move upstairs.

Vince got up groggily, wrapped a dressing gown around him, Howard's, because it was too big for him, it smelt nice and it made him feel cosy and safe. He padded slowly down the stairs, wincing every time Howard slammed a door.

"Howard." he groaned croakily, but the older man didn't seem to hear. "Howard." he repeated, as he wandered through the big hallway and into the kitchen. Howard was there, iPod in his ears, sat at the breakfast table and scribbling furiously on a note pad, then, for no apparent reason, he stood up and slammed a cupboard door. Vince's hand's flew to his ears and he gritted his teeth angrily.

"Howard!" he yelled, then immediately regretted it as his head throbbed painfully. It worked though, Howard looked up and pulled a speaker from his ear.

"Oh good." he said coldly, "You're awake."

"you're a jerk." spat Vince. "What you slamming those doors for?"

"It's part of the song." lied Howard coolly.

"Rubbish! You're doing it because you know I've got a headache."

"You're not hung-over, are you Vince?" he asked with mock surprise.

"Drop dead." muttered Vince, trudging over to the draw, where they kept medicine. He searched through the various packets for a moment and then said "Where's the aspirin?"

"By the sink." sighed Howard, pointing to a glass filled with cloudy aspirin-water.

"Thanks." Vince whispered gratefully and downed the mixture in one. He placed the glass down on the side and looked up to find Howard staring at him with a strange expression on his face.

"What?" asked Vince, half sulking, half anxious.

"We need to talk." the older man said seriously.

"About what?"

"About us. How did this happen?"

"How did what happen?" Vince asked, rubbing his sore head. Howard didn't know if he was playing dull just to infuriate him or whether he genuinely couldn't see the cracks forming in their relationship, either way it only reassured Howard that they needed to talk.

"This… us. We're not… right. Something's changing between us."

"No it isn't." Vince frowned, walking over to Howard in a way that suggested he wanted to sit on the older mans lap. But Howard wouldn't let him, if he had then Vince would have taken his mind off things with a delicious kiss and then the problems would be left to fester under the surface. So Vince had to content himself with sitting on the table, whilst Howard pressed on.

"Vince. We hardly see each other anymore, you're working all day and then you go out all night. The only time I see you is when you get in from parties and then you're always too wasted or too tired to do anything. I feel like we're drifting apart. Are you… I mean have you… Do you still, you know… like me?"

"Howard." Vince said gently, "I love you. If I could spend all my time with you, I would, but I can't. I've got a lot of work on at the moment. You know I'm working really hard on writing this new album."

"You've been working on it for nearly a year. You've written about 30 songs for it!"

"I know, but none of them are good enough."

"Come on Vince, music comes easily to you, I bet the songs are amazing."

"There not." Vince sighed, "listen to this." he hopped off the table and left the room, returning a few moments with a CD in his hands. He popped it in the small stereo my the microwave and pressed play. The song that bled from the speakers was awful but Howard forced a smile and said, "See, that's not so bad."

"Don't lie to me Howard!" he shouted, pushing the small stereo off the work top and allowing it to smash into pieces, shards of plastic bouncing around the kitchen. "It's crap! I can't put that on an album. And Frank's piling on the pressure, saying if I don't get it out soon he's going to pull my funding."

"He can't do that, surely? You've got a five CD contract, haven't you?"

"Yeah, and he's only doing it because he wants to buy a bigger house, he needs the money off my new album to pay a deposit or something. I don't know. I'm not sure how people buy houses, I just wrote a cheque for this place." Howard thought about the massive, five bedroom house, the swimming pool in the garden and the studio in the basement and wondered just how filthy rich you had to be to simply 'write a cheque' for a place like this. "I guess I'm just getting stressed" frowned the younger man "And the more annoyed I am, the worse the songs are, so Frank yells more. By the time the day's over I just want to forget about it so I get drunk!… I hate it." he finished quietly, his head drooping sadly.

"Alright," said Howard, standing up and putting his arms around Vince. "You have to tell me things like this Vince. We're a team, we can work through anything together, right?" Vince nodded against his chest. "So, why are you struggling to write songs? What's changed since a few months ago?"

"Zak," Vince said quietly.

Zak! Howard's heart stopped, Who the hell was Zak?! If this guy so much as touched Vince Howard was pretty sure he'd kill him.

"Who's Zak?" Howard squeaked, trying to remain calm.

"He's my drummer." Howard breathed a sigh of relief. "Or at least, he _was_ my drummer. He used to help me write the songs. All my best hits, except for the one I wrote for you, I wrote with him… and then…" Vince sobbed hard and Howard realised for the first time that the smaller man was crying "he, he said he'd had a better offer… that this up and coming American rock band called Sweet Antics wanted him and that he was leaving. He said I was washed-up, old news and ever since that I haven't been able to write anything. I mean, I've got Chad but… it's not the same." he paused for a while and the looked Howard right in the eyes and said, "Am I washed-up?"

Vince's eyes were red and blood shot, he was pale and he had dark circles beneath them. Howard had never seen a more sorry sight.

"Don't be silly." he smiled, pushing the younger mans hair out of his face. "You're one of the greatest song writers of all time and you're beautiful and you've got an incredible stage presence _and_ everyone loves you. I love you."

Howard knew they were having one of those moments, (a moment when the real Vince Noir exposed his true feelings) when Vince blushed prettily. Howard smiled, Vince was told these kind of things almost daily but usually he simply nodded and agreed, he never blushed… ever. Vince opened his mouth to say something just as the doorbell rang.

"Get rid of them." Vince whispered, clutching the front of Howard's shirt like a frightened child. "I don't want to see anyone today. Tell them I'm ill."

"How d'you know they're not here for me?" Howard asked indignantly.

"No one calls for you." Vince grinned cheekily.

Howard smiled and shook his head before walking to the door, promising to get rid of whoever it was. He was looking forward to spending a lazy day with Vince. They hadn't just stayed in and done nothing for a while and he was sure that this was what their relationship needed. You can do something with anyone, you can only do nothing with those you love.

--

Vince sat on the kitchen table, swinging his legs impatiently. How long does it take to tell someone to shove off? He thought angrily. He'd just started planning the numerous films he wanted to watch and games on the Wii he was going to beat Howard at (he always beat Howard it was inevitable), when he heard the distinctive sound of the _two_ sets of footsteps approaching. Vince was furious. How dare Howard break his promise? Who was so important that it was worth ruining their private day for? Then, Vince heard the unmistakable clicking of high heels and all became clear as Alice poked her head around the door.

Vine's heart plummeted. Goodbye romantic day with lots of kissing and cuddling; hello uncomfortable day with lots of awkward and uneasy silences.

"Vince." Alice nodded solemnly, putting down a few newspapers on the table next to him. Vince glanced down at them. It seemed to him that she'd picked out every paper with a headline that suggested Vince was 'back to his playboy ways' and brought them with her.

"Care to explain these." she said accusingly.

"Nope." Vince said insolently, throwing daggers at Howard as he appeared through the door, looking more than apologetic.

"See Howard, he's guilty!"

"No I'm not! There's so many lies spread in the papers you can't believe this, surely. I'm not sleeping around. I love your brother too much."

In the corner of the room, Howard blushed, he always did when Vince told someone else he loved him.

"You say whatever you need to, to get what you want."

"What!?"

"Look read this." she snarled, forcing a magazine under his nose and pointing a bitten fingernail at a line which read:

'"I thought he loved me, he told me he did." says Maryanne, 25, another casualty of the Noir charm.'

"It's all lies." protested Vince.

"No smoke without fire, what about this one?"

' Amy, 24, told us "He said I was different, I was the one. Told me he was going to leave Harold for me."'

"What d'you have to say to that, huh?"

"I only know one Amy, that old woman who lives down that lane, you know Howard. Vampire-lady." Howard nodded, but Alice wasn't looking at him.

"Whatever," she scorned. "You're a liar and a cheat, if you want to sleep with all these people then stop tagging my brother along."

"I'm not tagging him along!"

"You're a whore!"

"I don't have to listen to this." Vince cried, jumping off the table dramatically and storming from the room, eyes fixed on Howard as if to say 'stick up for me then'.

The door shut and Alice turned her attention to her brother.

"That's the sign of a guilty conscience." she said, as Vince silently pressed his ear to the door.

"It's also the sign of someone who's sick of being falsely accused, because of things the papers say."

"So you accused him too then?"

"I was…" Howard paused, as he tried to find the right word. "concerned, for a while. But I know it's not true now."

"How?"

"Because he told me it wasn't… and I trust him. I've got no reason not to. He's never let me down before. Anyway, what's come over you? You used to support me and Vince."

"I know, but that was before…" she waved her hand in the direction of the magazines. "I'm just looking out for you Howard. I don't want you to get your heart broken - not after…"

"She never broke my heart."

Vince gasped silently. She!? Who the hell was 'she'? And how had she broken Howard's heart? Vince held his breath, in case his loud respiration caused him to miss a vital word.

"You loved her." Alice reasoned.

"No, I only thought I did."

"You married her."

Behind the door, Vince was livid. Married!? Howard had never mentioned being married.

"Look, the only time I've ever been broken hearted is when I was away from Vince. It hurts like hell when he's not around and when he..." Howard stopped. He was going to say 'when he stays out all night and wont tell me (or more accurately can't remember) where he's been' then he thought better of it. He didn't want to give Alice more ammunition to fire at him.

"Nothing." Howard mumbled, after Alice asked what he was about to say.

"Hmmm." she frowned. "Do you think that maybe you and Vince should take a break, if things are bad I mean. Absence makes the heart grow stronger, right? And you look a bit peaky."

Vince felt the anger boiling up inside him. How dare she? How dare she suggest he was bad for Howard? Howard would be dead if it wasn't for him.

"I'm fine." insisted Howard.

"You don't look fine. All this stuff with Vince is making you ill."

"Being without Vince put me in a coma and _Vince_ was the one who pulled me through."

"You'd have pulled through anyway. I'm confident of that."

"NO HE WOULDN'T!" Vince screamed, suddenly exploding through the door. "because you" he pointed shakily at Alice. "You were going to let the doctors turn off the machine! You were going to let him… you were going to let him…" Vince was so angry he could hardly speak and he simply couldn't bring himself to say the word 'die'. So he just stood, fists clenched, face red, shaking furiously. "I hate you!" he spat venomously and with that, he burst into tears and ran from the room for the second time in ten minutes.

The loud, house-trembling bang that followed told Howard that Vince had left the house but he didn't care. He had bigger, earth shaking, life wrecking problems to deal with than an emotional rock star.

"Is it true?" he asked quietly, as Alice gabbled something about over active imaginations.

"I never wanted you to die." she said truthfully "I…"

"Did" Howard cut in, looking her right in the eye. "you say that they could turn off the machine?" She looked at the floor, her eyes brimming over and, just like that, he knew it was true. He didn't want to believe it. He couldn't believe it. But there it was, right in front of him. Her inability to look him in the eye was all the proof he needed. His own sister. The only person, or so he'd thought, who'd always stuck by him but it turned out that when it really mattered, even she had given up on him.

"Get out." he said quietly. She nodded tearfully and made for the door. "And take your stupid papers." he added.

"I think you should read them. Surely not that many people can be lying. I'm just trying to protect you. I love you."

"HA!" scoffed Howard. "You were going to let me die. You don't love me. You're a bitch! Vince loves me."

"I only came down here because you said you were having relationship problems. And the problem, by the way, is probably that your life doesn't revolve around Vince!"

"Well that can't be true because it does!"

"Look. Vince'll chew you up and spit you out if you let him, which you are. I mean where is he now? He's run away. This should be all about you, but he's tried to make it about him. He's an attention grabbing, spoilt brat and if you're not giving him enough attention well… he's going to get him from somewhere else."

"How dare you!" Howard seethed. "Get out!"

"I'm only trying to do what's best for you!" Alice cried honestly.

"OUT!" Howard roared, pushing everything off the table so that it smashed to pieces. Alice gasped. She'd never seen Howard look so angry, he was bright red, the vein in his neck was pulsing dangerously and he was glaring at her with a murderous expression on his face.

"I'm sorry." She whimpered as Howard practically picked her up and threw her from the house.

He slammed the door shut and sank to the floor. He felt physically sick. It had all been a lie. Every memory he had of his sister had just been warped by this information. He felt so alone. He wanted Vince, needed him. He felt he'd never needed the young man more and where was he? Who knew? And in the silence dangerous thoughts began to creep into his head. Maybe Alice was right. Vince did crave attention and Howard hadn't been giving it to him so much recently… maybe he _was_ getting it somewhere else. Maybe he'd been getting it from Zak and that was why he was so upset when he left. Maybe it was Chad that gave him the attention he deserved and that's why he'd been so upset these last few months or maybe there was more truth than Vince was letting on, in these stories about him and various girls and guys that kept ending up in the papers. Maybe Vince had never been faithful, he wasn't exactly used to monogamy, maybe he'd decided he just couldn't do it. Howard was sure that the young rock star loved him but staying faithful was a whole other thing.


	3. Chapter 3

Vince returned half an hour later to find Howard still slumped against the wall by the front door, hugging his knees to his chest, his cheeks glistening with drying tears.

"Howard." he breathed, crouching down to throw his arms around the older man's neck.

"Don't touch me." Howard snapped, pushing Vince away roughly so that he fell on to the hard floor.

"You're angry with me." Vince sighed, pushing himself back up onto his knees.

"…"

"Howard?" Vince continued gently. "Say something, please. I'm sorry. I know I probably shouldn't have said anything about Alice but I was upset, she was lying to you."

"I'm not angry about that. I mean you should have told me sooner but…"

"I didn't want to wreck yours and Alice's relationship." Vince interrupted. "I think she does care about you, even if she does it in a weird way."

"Don't stick up for her." winced Howard, remembering how mean she'd been about Vince. "And I'm not angry about you for telling me or not telling me."

"Then what?" frowned Vince

"Why did you run off?" Howard asked, suddenly looking Vince right in the eye. "I needed you Vince. I needed you to support me when I threw my sister out of my life, when I chose you over her."

"Sorry." he mumbled.

"Maybe Alice was right."

"About what?"

"You, being an attention seeker."

"Well, that's no secret." smiled Vince, cheekily.

"But she said that if you don't get attention from me, you'll get it from somewhere else."

"Well then ignore her."

"But, it's hard to ignore, when everywhere I go people are saying the same thing. I mean… where have you been?"

"Well, I went for a quickie with a groupie or two." Vince said angrily, standing up and punching the wall with the base of his fist. Howard glared at him, he knew Vince was being facetious and stupid but it didn't stop Howard's stomach twisting into a furious, jealous knot.

"I'm being serious Vince."

"So am I!" Vince cried, throwing his arms around dramatically.

"Vince." the older man warned. "Don't react like this."

"I'm sorry Howard!" Vince scorned. "What exactly is the proper reaction for being accused of cheating virtually everyday by your boyfriend who you thought loved you?"

"I do love you."

"But you don't trust me?"

"No, no. I do." Howard reassured him. "I'm sorry, I do trust you."

"Good, because I know I didn't tell you about Alice but I've always been honest about our relationship. You know it's only ever been you. I mean I've never been… oh I don't know… married."

Howard fell suddenly quiet and looked at the floor. "You heard that?" he whispered.

"Yeah, yeah. I heard that. But I don't understand. I mean, _why_ didn't you tell me?"

"It was a long time ago. I was a young man. I was a different man. I didn't think it mattered."

"Didn't matter? You know all about my non-existent past relationships and you told me about that weird Austrian bloke you dated but you never thought to mention your wife?!"

"Ex-wife." Howard corrected him. "Look Vince, I was twenty. I'd been going out with this girl for four years. I was confused and terrified because I had this crush on a guy that I didn't understand. I just thought if I got married it would stop. Needless to say, it didn't."

"Did you ask her to marry you?" Vince asked, suddenly quiet and tearful.

"Why do you want to know…?"

"Did you?" Vince interrupted, turning to look at Howard his blue eyes blazing behind a thin film of tears.

"Yes."

"Did you love her?"

"Don't do this to yourself." Howard said gently, lifting himself up from the floor and going over to Vince, placing a hand on his shoulder. Vince shook him off and said.

"Answer the question."

"I don't know. I suppose I must've a bit. At least I though I did, at the time. But it doesn't even come close to how I feel about you."

"Then why haven't you..." Vince stopped. He couldn't prevent the tears anymore, his knees gave way beneath him and he fell to the floor in a distraught heap. Howard sat down and wrapped his arms around the smaller man. He wasn't sure who was comforting who anymore, as tears beginning to roll down his own face.

"What were you going to ask?" Howard coaxed gently after they'd both calmed down a bit. "Why haven't I… what?"

"Asked me." Vince whispered.

"Huh?""Why haven't you asked me… to marry you? You asked someone you claim you didn't love but you wont ask me. I thought you loved me!"

"I do. I just… I didn't think you'd want to be tied down to anyone."

"I don't want to be tied down to _anyone, _Howard," He was yelling again now ('He always yells' thought Howard), "I want to be tied down to you! I love you so much." he finished weakly, falling against the older man's chest. "I know that I pretend that the newspapers don't bother me but they do. I hate that people don't believe how much I love you. I hate that you don't believe it." Howard couldn't help think that the rock star looked exhausted. He seemed so frail in his arms and the older man felt guilty for ever doubting his boyfriend's loyalty. After a few moments of silence, Vince mumbled "Ask me now."

"No." Howard said firmly.

"What? Why not?"

"I want our engagement to be beautiful. With an epic story behind it, that we, well you, can tell over and over again. I'm not doing it when we're both crying in the hall."

"But you will ask me, one day?"

Howard nodded gently "One day, yes."

Vince forced a smile and stood up, saying, "You know, we've still got the rest of the day. Why don't we go out somewhere?"

"I don't really feel like it, but you can go." Howard said, also getting to his feet.

"The point is to spend time with you."

"I just want to be on my own for a bit."

"Oh God, you still hate me. Is it because of this Alice thing? Or because I told you I wanted to marry you because I swear I don't mean to rush you, I know what happened last time I did that. Or it because…"

"Vince. It's not about you. It's about me, okay? I just don't feel like going out with you today."

"What d'you mean 'with you'?"

"No. Don't get me wrong."

"What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing. Vince, don't twist my words. It's just if I go out with you then my picture appears in the paper and I hate it. I like my privacy."

"Then why are you working so hard to become a famous jazz musician? And _why_ are you living with me? Because neither of those things are gonna give you a quiet life!"

"Stop shouting at me." sighed Howard exasperatedly. "I'm just saying I don't like the paparazzi. I know you're having a tough time…_we__'__re _having a tough time and we don't need the paparazzi making it worse."

"Stop saying that we're having a tough time! We're fine!"

"If you think that then we really have got problems."

"Stop saying we've got problems!"

"Look, if we didn't have problems you wouldn't be shouting and if you refuse to admit it then… I don't know if we're ever going to get back to how we were a few months ago."

"Don't say that!"

"But…"

"Don't say it!" Vince screamed. Howard fell silent and the two men just stood facing each other, both panting heavily. Suddenly, Vince launched himself at Howard, crushing their lips together in a furious kiss. They crashed against the wall. Howard's arms wrapped firmly around the waste of the skinny rock star. Vince's own hands were everywhere. Hair. Face. Shoulders. Back. He wrapped his leg around Howard's waste, just to be closer to him. Craving proximity. They hadn't kissed like this for a while.

"You're so sexy when you're angry." Vince panted.

"Hmm." Howard mumbled against the other mans lips.

"Let's go upstairs."

"I don't really feel like it."

"I'll" - kiss- "change" -kiss- "you're" -kiss- "mind." Vince grinned, against Howard's neck.

"Vince," groaned the older man. "I don't really want to. I'm too upset. I've lost my sister today."

"Shhhh." Vince hushed, ignoring Howard, his hands going to the older mans trousers and fiddling with the fastening.

"I don't want to!" Howard snapped suddenly, pushing Vince away so hard that he fell heavily onto the hard marble floor. Pain shot down Vince's right arm and he grimaced as he lifted himself up, clutching his bruised arm and glaring defiantly at Howard. If Howard felt guilty, he didn't let it show on his face as he scowled. "You're always trying to get me to do things I don't want to do."

"What like asking you if you'll ask me to marry you?"

"That's not what I meant! Stop twisting my words. All I said was I don't feel like pretending everything's okay."

"Who's pretending?"

"You are!"

"What like you did when you got married?!"

"See, this is why I didn't want to tell you because I knew you'd overreact! You're acting like such a spoilt brat!"

"_I__'__m_ acting spoilt? Howard I was perfectly happy before I met you, I liked my life how it was but I changed everything for you, _everything._ And now all you do is accuse me of cheating. You go on and on and on! It's because of that, that there are problems! Do you know we haven't had sex in over a month? To be honest with you, people probably would blame me if I cheated."

"You bitch!"

"Moron!"

"Whore!" As soon as he said it, he knew he'd hit a nerve, but the flash of hurt in Vince's eyes had soon gone as he retaliated.

"You paranoid, old bastard! You're just a failure, you hang around desperately trying to scrounge a bit of my success, hoping that my people will get you a record deal."

"You think you're so special, don't you? But you can't write songs. Not anymore, not without your precious drummer. You're washed up Vince. Old news."

"At lease people can remember my name! You're a nobody. A nobody with an impossible dream. Your album was a flop! They wont even sell it in the pound shop. No one cares about you, least of all me!"

"I hate you! I wish we'd never met!" Howard retorted blindly.

Vince's anger boiled up into a giant lava monster and before he had time to think or to stop himself, words fell from his mouth in a fiery waterfall of fury.

"In that case, maybe it would have been better if they _had _turned the machine off!"

Silence.

Howard's face dropped.

His world collapsed.

He felt sick.

His stomach churned.

His chest throbbed.

He was filled with pain.

And something buried deep inside him snapped.

Vince turned a pale shade of green. "I'm sorry" he gabbled at the man who was unable to look at him. "I didn't mean it, I swear. I'm so, so sorry. I was just…"

"Just go." whispered Howard.

"But I need to apologise, I swear Howard, I was just angry, people say stupid things when they're angry, it's not an excuse. I can't excuse something like that I just, I, I, I didn't mean it."

"Go"

"You have to believe me." Vince begged.

"Stay out for a while." was Howard's callous reply.

Vince nodded and then croaked "You are going to be here when I get back, aren't you?"

Howard didn't answer, he just walked up the stairs silently.

Vince watched him go and left the house. He had nothing else to say. Nothing that would make things better, not now. He hated himself. He knew how much he'd just hurt Howard. It shouldn't matter how angry he was, surely if he truly loved Howard he'd never be able to say something like that. He'd never intended to hurt him. Actually, maybe that wasn't true… in the moment he'd said it, hurting Howard was exactly what he'd wanted to do but that didn't mean he believed what he'd said. It didn't mean he loved Howard any less and he knew the northerner loved him too. He could see that love in Howard's eyes. It was always there, even when Vince made him cry or scream, it was still there… burning bright. But sometimes, just sometimes, Vince began to wonder if love was going to be enough.

* * *

**Hiya!**

**I'm gonna ask for some opinions now :D. Basically, should Howard be there when Vince comes back?? I'm inclined to say 'yes' but I'm not sure if maybe Vince has just gone too far this time. Thing is, I've got a storyline in my head that I can write whether they're together or not, so it doesn't really matter - I guess it's up to you lot!**

**Ddiolch 'ch achos yn darllen! (Thanks for reading!) - sorry, feeling particularly Welsh this evening, lol. [to be honest I'm not 100% sure that's right but, meh!]**

**Sisi…xx**


	4. Chapter 4

It was dark by the time Vince returned home that night. The house was silent and Vince had a horrible sinking feeling that Howard had long gone. It was understandable, Vince was pretty sure he would have left if Howard had been that mean to him. He went into the living room and was devastated to find it empty. Howard always waited up when Vince went out (to make sure he got home safe) and anyway, it wasn't _that_ late. He rushed to the kitchen, maybe the Howard was making some food… apparently not. He raced to the studio, maybe Howard was writing some music. Empty. With every room he looked in, Vince became less and less hopeful of finding Howard. He checked everywhere:

Dining room, study, studio, bathroom, bedroom. Oh thank god! There he was. Wrapped up in the thick duvet, snoring lightly and with an expression which suggested that whatever he was dreaming about wasn't overly pleasant.

Vince breathed a sigh of relief and walked to the bed placing a gently kiss on his boyfriend's cheek. Then, feeling suddenly full of inspiration with the emotion pounding through him, he crept downstairs and back into the studio. He picked up his guitar from the corner and began to strum a few chords. The lyrics were already in his head. He'd been working on them whilst he was out and slowly he built a tune to fit with them.

Howard was woken a while later to the sound of Vince soft singing, creeping up the stairs. He lay there for a second, straining to hear the words but it was too muffled. Slowly, he got out of bed and shuffled quietly down the stairs, stopping at the studio door. Vince was sat in a spotlight created by the moon shining through the window. His hair shone and his skin glowed in the ghostly light. He had his back to the older man but Howard knew he had his eyes closed as he began the song again.

_Sometimes we fight'  
Bout who's wrong and right  
And stay up all night  
And sometimes we drink  
And say hurtful things  
That we don't mean_

Vince's voice was hauntingly beautiful and so full of truth and emotion that Howard's heart physically hurt.

_Yeah, we're both screamin'  
But nobody's listenin'  
Let's take this madness  
Out of the kitchen_

_Come to bed  
Let's just lay down  
__There's just one way  
We're gonna work this out  
Forget what I did  
Forget what you said  
Oh, darlin'  
Come to bed_

Howard shifted his weight slightly and the floorboard creaked beneath his feet. Vince jumped and turned around.

"S-sorry," he stammered "Did I wake you?"

"Yeah," Howard whispered, not wanting to break the magic of the moment. "But it's fine." He smiled as he entered the room and sat down on the piano stool. "Keep playing." Vince nodded and started up where he'd finished. He didn't close his eyes this time, instead he had them fixed on Howard. Boring into his soul, singing just for him.

_Well, I love you  
You know I do  
And you love me too  
So let's just stop  
Remember what we've got  
Before it all gets lost_

_Just take my hand  
It's been way too long  
Turn out the lights  
And turn each other on_

Howard smiled at this. Vince grinned back cheekily.

_Come to bed  
Let's just lay down  
__There's just one way  
We're gonna work this out  
Forget what I did  
Forget what you said  
Oh, darlin'  
Come to bed_

Suddenly, Vince, his voice straining and his eyes shining with tears, slowed the song down completely. Howard felt his insides melt. He had a million and one emotions surging through him at once. He'd hated Vince all day but now he loved Vince more than anything. The smaller man looked too beautiful and Howard could tell he was truly sorry. And it wasn't as though it was just Vince who'd been hurling the abuse.

_Just come to bed  
Let's just lay down  
There's just one way  
We're gonna work this out  
Forget what I did  
Forget what you said  
Oh, darlin'  
Come to bed_

Vince broke into a slow, heart wrenching rift. The tears flowing softly down his cheeks and landing on his deft, moving fingers until Howard stood up and tugged the guitar gently from his grip. He raised the smaller man to his feet, so their eyes met.

"I'm so sorry." Vince breathed. "I didn't mean it, I swear."

"Shhhh." Howard whispered, so quiet it was barely audibly. He cupped Vince's cheek and wiped away his tears with his thumb. "I don't wanna fight with you anymore. I don't even know why we started fighting. Let's just forget about earlier. We were both emotional with everything that happened this morning and we both said things we regret." Vince nodded tears still falling from his beautiful blue eyes. "Come on." smiled Howard, bringing Vince towards him and kissing him soothingly on the forehead, then on the nose, cheekbone, down his jaw line until, eventually, he found his mouth. They shared a gut-wrenchingly sensual kiss before Howard took Vince by the hand and led him silently upstairs.

--

Vince shifted slightly, turning into Howard's embrace, making peaceful noises. Howard smiled and kissed him on the top of his head. Vince was so emotionally drained, he really seemed to have the weight of the world on his shoulders; maybe it had something to do with this album pressure. Or maybe it was the fact that he, Howard, kept asking if he'd cheated. Now, in the quiet with only the light of the moon seeping through the gap in the curtains and Vince's light breathing for company, Howard could really think about everything.

He couldn't believe what Alice had done to him, he hated her and he was pretty sure he'd never forgive her. But he _had_ only seen her twice since he'd moved to London, once on his birthday and once at Christmas and both times she'd only stayed for a an hour or so because Vince had been making things incredibly uncomfortable for everyone. In the grand scheme of things, she didn't matter, not really, not anymore.

Vince, on the other hand, was the most important person in the world to him and yet he kept picking unnecessary fights with him. Yeah, the comment about turning the machine off had cut him deeply but he supposed that Vince had been hurting from Howard's accusations and Howard _had_ said he hated Vince. Maybe they needed to put all this behind them now, move on, just focus on the love that they felt for each other. But Howard knew that if things were going to work in this relationship, he'd have to trust Vince over everyone else and Vince would have to stop losing his temper so quickly.

But he could think about all this negative stuff at some other time. For now, he'd just enjoy the feeling of holding Vince close, the smaller man nestled in his arms, snuggling into his chest. They hadn't just curled up together for a while and Howard hadn't realised how much he'd missed it. Eventually, he fell into a sweet, serene slumber, cuddling Vince like a child cuddles a teddy.

----

The sunlight fell on the clothes strewn across the floor and the crumpled bedclothes pulled tightly around the two men. Vince was stirring slowly, his hair fanned around him on the white pillow like a darkened halo. Howard pressed a gentle kiss onto his boyfriends cheek and said "You look so beautiful."

Vince smiled prettily. "I think that's the nicest thing I've ever woken up to."

"You're the nicest thing I've ever woken up to." replied Howard, then he rolled on to his back and said "Even in my head that sounded cheesy, I don't know why I said it."

Vince laughed and shifted so he was lying half on Howard.

"I liked it." he grinned.

"Hmm."

"So, what are we going to do today?"

"Haven't you got some charity gig to do?"

"Yeah, but that's not until this evening. We can spend the day together." Vince said, drawing shapes across Howard's chest with his finger, until Howard took Vince's hand and brought it to his lips, kissing each finger individually before sucking lightly on his index finger.

"God that's sexy." sighed Vince. "Not as sexy as this though." he added, retracting his hand from Howard's mouth and disappearing under the sheets. Howard felt a pleasurable moan escape him as Vince began to run kisses up the inside of his leg. Higher. Higher. Higher.

**Ring Ring**

Howard let out a small, undignified whimper, when Vince suddenly stopped what he was doing. "Ignore it, ignore it." The older man pleaded. "Keep going." Vince obeyed, giving Howard's inner thigh a small lick.

**Ring Ring**

Suddenly, Vince appeared from under the duvet, resting his chin on Howard's stomach and said "Shouldn't you get that?" The older man let out a loud roar of frustration before he reached for the phone on the bedside table.

"Hello?… get lost… I don't care… no." Vince had never heard Howard be so rude on the phone, or anywhere for that matter. His face must have depicted his confusion because Howard removed the phone from his ear and said "It's Alice."

"What!? What does she want?"

"She says the papers are saying we've split up."

"Why's she rung here then? If we'd split up, you wouldn't be here."

Howard thought for a moment and then said "Good point. If we'd split up" he repeated down the phone "then I wouldn't be here… Oh, I understand." Vince waited patiently for Howard to relay the explanation. "She rang to yell at you." he said.

"Hang up!" shrieked Vince, jumping up from his position between Howard's legs. "She's a cow!" Then before Howard could stop him, Vince was running from the room.

"Where you going?" Howard called.

"Back now." was the fading reply.

By the time Vince re-entered, Howard had hung up the phone and was sat on the bed, arms folded and a frown creasing his face.

"Where did you go?"

"Wanted to see what the papers were saying about us."

"And?"

"You're not gonna like it."

"I'm thick skinned." Howard smiled, patting the place on the bed next to him so that Vince knew to sit down. Howard put his arm round the smaller man and pulled him in close, resting his head on his shoulder so that he could read the paper. This first thing he saw was the picture. Howard throwing Alice out of the house with a positively expression on his face that wouldn't be out of place on a homicidal maniac. In the corner there was a much smaller picture of Vince sat on a bench, head in his hands. He looked like he was crying but Howard couldn't be sure.

**End of the Road for Moon and Noir**

_After months of ear splitting rows, house rocking arguments and earth shaking fights, Noir has finally left Moon after what has been a short and arduous romance for both men. It appears that Moon came back from a pub to find Noir getting __'__up close and personal__'__ with Moon__'__s own sister, Alex, 26. Alex herself was seen leaving the house in tears early this morning after being thrown out by her angry, lied-to brother. Howard Moon has not been seen since, although neighbours suspect he left during the night, under the cover of darkness._

_Neighbour, Agatha Branwich, 72, had this to say __"__I__'__ve never trusted that Vince. He__'__s got that look about him, his eyes are too far apart. It doesn__'__t surprise me that he hasn__'__t stayed faithful. To be honest with you, I think he__'__s been playing away for a while. He__'__s always going out all night and there__'__s a constant horde of harlots waiting at the gate for him. I don__'__t know what they see in him, he needs a hair cut if you ask me. If I was his wife, partner__…__ what ever they call it nowadays I__'__d be suspicious. Howard obviously is though, they__'__re always screaming at each other in that house, it destroys the peace of the street. I was surprised, I didn__'__t realise their sort were that bothered about cheating.__"_

"Their sort?" chuckled Vince. "Homophobic and nosey, what a combination."

"Branwich? Is that the one who always wears that weird red cardigan?"

Vince nodded, chewing his lip as he read on.

"Grumpy old bat she is," continued Howard thoughtfully. "I swear she crosses the road to avoid me." Vince laughed and then put a finger to his lips before pointing back at the paper. Howard rolled his eyes and read the next bit.

_Fans of Noir insist this is the end of the rock stars __'__gay phase__'__. __"__We never believed he was gay.__"__ says Carys Daniels, 16, self confessed number one Noir fan. __"__There__'__s a whole group of us on Facebook, like 250,000 of us who don__'__t believe it. We wont be fooled.__"_

"oooo" laughed Howard "a group on Facebook, well in that case it must be true."

"Yeah, they wouldn't be saying that if they saw what me and you got up to last night." smirked the younger man.

"Did you really say that?" Howard asked, pointing to the next paragraph. Vince smiled and went a bit pink. "I was upset" he shrugged.

_We asked Noir to comment but he told us to __"__F**k off because you don__'__t understand anything you f**king journalistic w*nkers.__"_

_It seems, therefore, that this moment has been hotly anticipated by Vince Noir fans all over the world and this affair just cements what everyone except Moon, already knew that the rock prince will never change and a playboy can never find love. Not even the __'__Moon Magic__'__ was going to be enough to hold this doomed relationship together._

"Moon Magic?" frowned Howard "What's that?"

"It's what they're calling your ability to me monogamous. Everyone's saying it. NME, MTV, Cheekbone. They were thinking of putting it in the dictionary for a while."

"Really?" beamed Howard proudly.

"Yup."

"Is there anymore to the article?" noting that the paper was folded in half.

"Ummm… yeah." Vince said apprehensively.

"Let me read it then."

"I'd rather not."

"Why?"

"Because you'll… no reason." mumbled the rock star, dipping his head forward so that his hair covered his face.

"I wont accuse you, if that's what you're worried about." Howard said, realising suddenly why his partner looked so nervous.

"You sure you wont go mad?" Vince joked, though Howard could tell from something in his eyes that he wasn't entirely joking. So he opted to take the serious response.

"Of course I wont go mad." he smiled, kissing Vince's neck and rubbing his shoulders reassuringly. Vince nodded and unfolded the paper.

_And with Moon out of the way, this allows Noir to spend more time with his long-term, on/off lover Chad, the new drummer in his band._

Vince looked nervously as Howard and, for a moment, he thought the older man was going to go crazy but Howard managed to remain calm. He took the newspaper from Vince and tossed it over his shoulder.

"What a load of rubbish." he groaned, dragging Vince in for a long kiss. Vince smiled against his lips and began to slide back down Howard's body to resume his position from before the phone rang and it wasn't long before Howard was groaning for a completely different reason.


	5. Chapter 5

**I forgot to mention this on the last chapter but the song Vince sang was 'Come to Bed' by Gretchen Wilson, it's not mine and I shall make no claims that it is! (Yes, that was a very poorly constructed disclaimer).**

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

"I'm sure you look fine Howard!"

"Easy for you to say, you always look good in the magazines. I, on the other hand, look ridiculous…"

"No you don't"

"… but not this time, this time I'm going to look normal."

"Howard!" laughed Vince, finally getting fed-up and entering the bathroom to find Howard combing the younger mans vanity case for appropriate hair products, or cosmetics, or… something. "You look fine. Please stop fussing. We can't both be vain." he laughed, wrapping his skinny arms around the older mans waist. "And there's no paparazzi between here and the limo anyway and Shelia, the make up artist's in there so she can sort you out."

"But…"

"Howard, if we don't leave now I'm going to be late for the gig and it's run by Roger Dahltry. I don't really want to annoy him. He doesn't like me much."

"Is that because you got voted above him on 'Greatest Front Man Ever' last week?" Howard asked, allowing himself to be dragged away from the precious mirror.

"Yeah." sighed the younger man. "I did try to point out that I beat everyone, not just him but if anything that made it worse."

"Really?" smirked Howard as he and Vince climbed into the car, the driver shutting the door behind them.

"Yeah, I don't know why." In some ways Vince was incredibly streetwise but in others he was so wonderfully naïve and just for that, Howard felt a sudden overwhelming urge to lean across the black leather seats and capture Vince's lips in a sweet kiss.

"What was that for?" smiled Vince, when Howard pulled away.

"Just… because."

Vince eyed him strangely, but let it go when Shelia said huffily "When you two've quite finished. I've got a job to do."

"Sorry." laughed Vince, then he put on an overly camp voice and added "I just can't seem to take my hands of him."

"Hmph." frowned Shelia, shoving Vince's head back roughly and straddling him so that she could apply the foundation more easily. Howard raised an eyebrow with an expression that suggested he was half amused, half angered by the compromising position the other two in the limo were now in.

"Don't blame me." snapped Shelia, seeing the look of Howard's face. "He insisted I do his makeup in the limo, though what you doing an hour ago that meant I couldn't do this in your house, I'll never know." Howard turned away from Shelia, blushing furiously as the memories of what they'd been doing an hour ago came flooding back to him.

"Howard, just give her some champagne." sighed Vince, flapping his hand in the direction of the limo's bar, only to be warned,

"Don't move you're face, unless you want to be patchy." Vince screwed his face up at the thought.

"Vince!" exclaimed Shelia, before shooting a laughing Howard a filthy look.

"W-where is the champagne?" he stammered, watching as Shelia began to put mascara on the rock star.

"You answer that" she warned "and I'll probably poke you in the eye. Anyway, I can't be bought with alcohol."

"You can." smirked Vince, followed by "Awwww, what the hell are you doing?" as Shelia slipped, sending a long black line of mascara down his cheek.

"Don't worry." she fussed, "I'll make it work. Don't _touch!_" she slapped his hand away. "For God sake… on second thoughts, Howard, I will take that champagne."

Howard nodded and searched the bar feverishly.

"On the end, it's in a silver vase thing." uttered Vince, hardly moving his mouth.

"Stop talking."

"I tell him that all the time," smiled Howard handing a frustrated Shelia a glass of champagne. "he never listens."

"Oi."

"Vince!"

"Sorry."

"Anyway," continued Howard "Isn't this a charity gig? Limo's, champagne that costs a lot of money, shouldn't they be trying to save money?"

"Can I answer?" Vince grinned cheekily at the make up artist. "Or will you mascara my cheek again?" Shelia looked as though she were about to retaliate but settled, instead, for taking a long sip of champagne. Vince took this as an opportunity to talk and was halfway through explaining that the limo's were donated when he felt a tap on his head with a make-up brush; Shelia's way of telling him to shut up.

The journey continued like this until they pulled up outside the stadium. Despite the endless bickering and exasperated sighs, Shelia had managed to make Vince look stunning and she'd even fixed Howard up a bit after some persuasion from Vince, which involved big eyes, fluttering eyelashes and lots and lots of pouting. She'd done his hair and put on the smallest amount of make up, ("to stop you looking shiny in the pictures." she'd explained) Howard knew he looked good. Vince had told him so and he'd seen it for himself in the small hand mirror but that didn't stop him feeling incredibly nervous when the door was opened and the noise of clicking camera's flooded his ears.

"Hold my hand." muttered Vince.

"Why?"

"I wanna show the world we're just as strong as ever." Howard wasn't sure if this was strictly true. After all, yesterday had been their lowest day. Today, on the other hand, had been a lot better, it had felt like it used to and, if Howard had been considering leaving yesterday, today had made him realise he never could. So Howard took Vince's hand and allowed the younger man to pull him from the car. A million and one flashes went off at once. Sparkly spots danced in front of his eyes. And people were shouting loudly. Vince's name. Howard's name. Random words. Anything to make the couple look at them.

Vince was in his element. He posed and 'pulled shapes', winking at the camera's. Hands above his head. Hands on his hips. After a while, he slid to Howard's side, slipping his arm around the older mans back. Howard put his own arm around the rock stars shoulders. The lights seemed to flash even brighter. Then, feeling suddenly impulsive and spurred on by comments like 'Howard! How did you react when you found Vince screwing your sister?' and 'Howard. Can you forgive him after the affair with Chad?', Howard's grip on Vince shoulders tightened. He twisted the smaller man around and kissed him deeply, earning himself a startled gasp followed by a small moan, which Howard would have found embarrassing in front of this many people but Vince didn't seem to care. He simply threw the paparazzi the V's and pulled Howard down the red carpet, up the couple of stairs to the stage door.

---

"Vince Noir. 9 minute warning call."

"Cheers." he grinned at the girl with the clipboard, who blushed furiously before disappearing, giggling stupidly. Howard rolled his eyes, Vince still had it, that extraordinary ability to make girls melt.

"Shelia's gonna kill you." said Howard from his arm chair in the corner of the large dressing room.

"Why?" asked Vince, who was pruning himself in the mirror.

"You're makeup's smudged and you're hair's a mess at the back."

"My hairs a mess!" shrieked Vince, "Sort it out for me then!Anyway," he grinned wickedly as Howard rose lethargically from his seat and walked over to fix his boyfriends coiffure. "if you didn't feel the need to grab my face and hair when we kiss, we wouldn't have an issue."

"If you didn't feel the need to kiss me there wouldn't be an issue."

"Touché!" smiled Vince, feeling a gentle tugging on his head as Howard worked out the tangles with his fingers. "mmm" he murmured, causing the older man to chuckle to himself. Vince didn't care, he loved it when people played with his hair. He'd once told a magazine he loved getting his hair styled because it was the best feeling in the world. People had laughed, but he stuck by his answer, right up until he met Howard, now, Howard playing with his hair was the best feeling in the world.

"You playing any new songs today?" Howard broke Vince's peaceful daydreams.

"I haven't got any to play."

"What about the one from last night?"

"That was private, just for you."

"I don't mind, it was a beautiful song."

"Thanks." grinned Vince, "It was good, wasn't it? Best one I've written in a while."

"Vince Noir." the clip-board lady returned at the door. "You're in three minutes… follow me."

"Wish me luck." winked Vince, kissing Howard on the cheek.

"You'll be amazing."

"True, true."

"Oh, and play the song but Vince?"

"Mmm?"

"Don't mention me, yeah?"

Vince's face contorted with confusion.

"I don't want the attention." he explained. "Play the song, but don't mention me."

Vince nodded and followed the girl down a series of corridors to the stage, whilst Howard raced quickly to his complimentary seat. He sat down just in time to hear Graham Norton introduce Vince as,

"the rock sensation, the greatest musician and the second greatest gay guy in the room." the big screens showed John Barrowman and everyone laughed "that's right everybody… it's Vince Noir!"

The room erupted with cheers, clapping and a few wolf whistles but all Howard could think about was how annoying it was when people pronounced Vince's surname 'No-are' with two completely separate syllables like Norton just had. Though his internal grumbling soon subsided when Vince appeared from the side of the stage to one of his hits called 'You Know You Really Want Me'. Vince had taken his jacket off since leaving the dressing room exposing his tight blue shirt which seemed to serve only as a second skin. And his trousers were leaving nothing to the imagination. Howard's mouth dropped open, he hadn't seen Vince dressed up like that for a long time, he'd forgotten just how sexy Vince looked when he really went for it. With the clothes, make up and arrogant strut, Vince looked totally at home on stage.

Vince played a fantastic four song medley of his biggest hits. The crowd went lapped up every second of it. And they went wild when he stepped to the microphone and said,

"Can we bring the lights down?".

The room was plunged into near darkness except for a soft bluish light concentrated on Vince. He looked like an fallen angel, beautiful but wicked. He grinned,

"Thank you. Okay, this next song.," he continued, as a roadie legged it on stage and handed him an acoustic guitar. "is off my new album and, erm, it's dedicated to someone very special to me. He's sat up in the box right now."

And just like that, a blinding spotlight hit Howard full in the face and everyone was looking at him. A polite applause came from the crowd and someone shouted 'Sexy'.

"Hey," laughed Vince from the stage, "Back off he's mine.". Then he cleared his throat and began to play. And, just as suddenly as it had arrived, the light was gone, leaving Howard with multi-coloured spots tattooed on his eyelids.

Howard was furious. How could Vince do that to him? After he'd specifically asked him not to mention him! Howard was about to storm off, when he became aware of the amount of camera's pointed at him. If he walked off now the media would have a field day, so he stayed put and tried not to frown too much. But it all got too much for him when Vince got to the line:

_Turn out the lights  
And turn each other on_

The rock star stopped, waiting until people finished wolf whistling and cheering and shouting things like;

"Yeah Vince!", "Sexy!" or "I'll turn you on baby!" and one person even yelled "Vince, I'm pregnant!"

Suddenly, Howard couldn't take it any more, he stood up slowly and looked at his watch, as if that would stop the paparazzi jumping to the wrong (or in this case right) solution and left as calmly as he could manage.

* * *

**The angst is back! - Sorry!**

**Sisi…xx**


	6. Chapter 6

As soon as Vince finished his set, he left the stage and went to the dressing room in silence. He didn't know what had come over him. He'd gone onstage with no intention of mentioning Howard but, when it came to singing the song that made him think exclusively of the older man, he hadn't been able to stop himself talking about how much he loved him. He'd noticed Howard leaving, if no one else had. The house lights had been bright enough to see a tall, stocky silhouette getting out of his seat, squeezing past the other VIP's and leaving. He was convinced by now that Howard would have left the stadium. He'd done it again. He'd pushed Howard away, done something he knew Howard wouldn't like.

Vince wondered if he did these things because, for so many years, he hadn't had to worry about anyone but himself. He'd been able to do things people asked him not to, because he didn't care if he hurt them and it didn't matter if he did. People would let him get away with anything. But not Howard, the older man didn't have to put up with his stupidity and Vince knew he wouldn't put up with it. Howard was not a weak person, he'd overcome so much in the past and he wasn't prepared let people walk all over him, not even someone he loved. Not even Vince Noir.

When Vince got to the dressing room he searched it frantically for the older man.

"Howard!" he called "Howard! Are you here?"

No reply.

"HOWARD!" he screamed, desperation evident in his voice. He didn't think he could bear the thought of chasing Howard and explaining and apologising to him again. He really didn't want to go to the after party alone. "Howard." he pleaded quietly, when it was evident the older man wasn't there.

"What?" came a breathless voice from behind him. Vince span round to see Howard in the doorway, the northerner panting heavily, his hair all over the place like he'd just been running and he was looking more than a bit concerned. "What's going on? What's happened? Are you okay?"

"Yeah," beamed Vince "I'm fine."

"But you were screaming? I thought you'd hurt yourself or something""Oh." the rock star blushed "I just wanted to see if you were here. I thought you might've left."

"I nearly did."

"I'm sorry."

"Why d'you do it Vince? I asked you not to mention me."

"Sorry. I don't know why I did it. I guess I just wanted to prove everyone that it's still you I love and not Alice or anyone else."

"You don't have to prove your love to anyone."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, you say that every time."

"That's because I'm sorry every time."

"Hmm. If you stopped doing things like this then you wouldn't have to be sorry."

"Don't. You sound like my teachers from school. I don't need you reminding me of a boring old geography teacher. If you think we've got problems now, it's nothing to what we'd have if every time I looked at you I saw Mr Tuck talking about land formations."

"Tuck? Volcanoes?" laughed Howard fondly. "What are you talking about?"

"No idea, and I didn't know what I was talking about back then either. I was a nightmare to teach."

"You surprise me."

"I was rubbish at every lesson… except music obviously. I was top of the class for that. All my teachers said I'd never make anything of myself with the grades I got. They were so wrong - stupid teachers."

"Finished ranting?" asked Howard looking entirely bemused.

"Yeah."

"You know, I'm sorry too. I probably over reacted, walking out like that. You were only trying to be romantic."

Vince nodded, and smiled cheekily, his eyes glinting. "You just didn't know how to react because you haven't got a romantic bone in you."

"Yes I do." protested Howard. "Remember when I took you on that cruise for your birthday."

"Mmm," smiled Vince, "And remember what we did on that cruise?"

"Yeah, and getting banned because we got caught."

Vince laughed and reached up to kiss Howard.

"Mmm," murmured Howard against Vince's lips. "Do we have to go to the party?""Yes."

"Can't we just go home? I hate parties."

"Oh and don't I know it. I ask you to go to parties all the time and you _never_ go. Not only that, you go on at me about how much you hate parties for hours before I go out and hours after I get in."

"I do not."

"You do, your always nagging me."

"Shut up."

"Oh very mature."

"I mean it Vince, shut up before we start rowing again."

"Fine" he sulked.

"Look, I don't think I'm going to go to this party. You can go though, if you like."

Vince scowled at the other man for a good few moments until someone popped their head around the door and yelled,

"NOIR!" in a distinctly American accent. "You ready for the party man? I'm buzzing, totally off my head on this stuff." he held a bottle of what looked like Budweiser above his head.

"Frank got you some then?"

"Yeah, shipped it over for the par-tay! It's gonna one hell of an event! I'm gonna get totally wasted man! You better be getting mashed with me!"

"I'm, uh…" Vince looked at Howard.

"Oh." said the man, as if he'd only seen Howard for the first time. "Hey dude. You alright man? Harold yeah?"

"Howard" Howard corrected him holding out his hand. The American slapped it in a weird high five and said. "I'm Chad. Nice to meet ya man. You coming to the party too?"

"Yes." Vince frowned at Howard and was about to point out his weird change of heart, when he decided against it. After all, he was getting his own way. All Howard noticed was how miffed the American looked when he realised Vince wasn't going alone, but he soon cheered up and said,

"Right, I'm gonna go warm-up the dance floor. I'll get you guys a drink. Flirtini, Vince?"

"You know what I like." smiled Vince flirtatiously, as the American disappeared out of the room. Howard looked at his boyfriend and cocked an eyebrow, causing Vince to ask,

"What?"

"That's Chad?!"

"Yeah." Howard's eyes widened showing a high level of distain. "What?" laughed the younger man.

"He's a bit… full on, isn't he?""Yeah. He's brilliant. Work hard, party harder."

"Hmm."

"Oh lighten up Howard. Here, let me fix you up. Then we can go to the party." Vince smiled, tugging Howard's shirt out of his trousers and undoing a button or two. "There, much better."

"What was wrong with the way I looked before? Would I have embarrassed you in front of Chad?" Howard asked sulkily.

"Did you seriously just ask that?"

"Apparently so."

"I thought we'd put this behind us."

"Yeah, we have." blushed Howard, feeling suddenly embarrassed at how pathetic he sounded. "Sorry. Let's go."

* * *

**Hey guys. Had a bit of a kick in the creative teeth yesterday (boo hoo) I know, get over myself, right? Anyway, I'm only saying it because this was a fairly weak chapter and I'm trying to come up with a (very poor) excuse as to why.**

**Anyway, I'm think the next chapter's much better… though of course you lot can be the judge of that when it goes up, probably tomorrow (because I have far too much time on my hands.)**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Sisi…xx**

**p.s: JLS to win X-Factor!! =] **


	7. Chapter 7

Vince sat, crossed legged, elbow on knee, head resting on his hand. He'd never been so bored at a party in his life. He blew his fringe out of his eyes and sighed heavily. Next to him, Howard slumped right back in his seat with a whiskey in his hand, sipping it slowly. He wished he was anywhere else but here. He hated parties, he had no idea how Vince ever managed to convince him to go to them. Well, in this he hadn't taken much persuading. The thought of Vince alone with that obnoxious Chad character had been enough. Howard didn't want to be one of those weird possessive boyfriends but he couldn't help it. He'd been hurt in the past and he loved Vince too much. He could stomach the thought of losing him.

He glanced at the thoroughly bored younger man, who was watching everyone else dancing and having fun longingly. He'd asked Howard to dance three or four times but the older man had refused, claiming that dancing was for drunkards, idiots and the sexually deprived.

"I love dancing." Vince had mumbled in protest.

"Well…" said Howard noncommittally.

"You're so boring!" Vince sighed loudly and downed his third drink. "I need another one."

"No you don't."

"I do." hiccoughed Vince, getting laboriously to his feet and strolling confidently to the bar.

Howard watched on as every set of eyes in the room were drawn to his boyfriend. He watched as the man behind the bar flirted shamelessly with Vince, who's only response was to grin and wink. As the barman went off to mix his drink, a girl came over and whispered seductively in his ear. Howard watched as Vince shook his head at her and then pointed in Howard's direction. The older man, embarrassed at being caught staring gave a self-conscious little wave, which made Vince laugh lovingly. The girl talked some more, presumably trying to persuade Vince he could do better but he wasn't having any of it and eventually she gave up and tried her luck with a different (slightly less famous) rock star. The barman returned a moment later with a bright purple drink for Vince. He was just about to get out some money, when Chad stepped in and paid for him.

Howard watched Vince say "Thank you." with a kiss on the cheek and inside him, the jealousy bubbled up threateningly but he squashed it with memories of Vince telling him he was the one and other moments like that. He'd just about managed to get rid of the envy when Vince returned with Chad in tow.

"Hey Harold." drawled the American.

"Howard." The moustached man corrected him.

"Yeah, whatever." he turned to Vince "This party rocks!"

"Does it?" Vince asked, draping himself over Howard.

"Yeah! The music's brilliant and the atmosphere on the dance floor is incredible! I ain't seen you up there much though Vince. What's up?""Got no one to dance with." he shrugged, glancing moodily at Howard.

"I'll dance with ya." grinned Chad. "If that's okay with you Howard?"

"What?" The man, who'd just been daydreaming, in a feeble attempt to block out Chad's grating voice, asked on hearing his name.

"Can I dance with Vince?" repeated Chad as though he were speaking to a particularly stupid person.

Howard wanted to say 'No, get away from him. Find your own guy to drool all over.' But he knew he couldn't stop Vince from doing anything. So he just shrugged and mumbled something about it being a free country. Vince beamed up at his boyfriend and kissed him gently on the cheek, whispering "Thanks Howard.". Then he smiled at Chad and said,

"You don't have to ask him anyway. I ain't his bitch."

"Nah. You're my bitch." joked Chad, tapping Vince's arse as the two walked towards the dance floor.

Howard gritted his teeth angrily, watching as Vince danced gorgeously. Arms in the air. Head thrown back. Sending out mixed signals of innocence and debauchery. Howard had never noticed before but Vince danced rather like a girl. He just let go and let the music take him, swinging his hips. None of this awkward man on a dance floor routine, where they haven't got a clue or are trying to emulate a favourite brake dance move. No, Vince did his own thing and, in the spotlights, the rock star seemed to be positively glowing. He revelled in the attention that he was drawing from the others in the room. Howard noted moodily that this was the happiest he'd seen Vince for a while.

After a few moments, the American began to dance in sync with Vince and the older man could neither watch, nor take his eyes off the ridiculous display they were making of themselves. He knew that he was shooting daggers at Chad, as the good looking American span Vince around but he wasn't going to try and hide it. He was angry as hell and he didn't care who knew. The worst thing was, he really didn't have the right to be. After all, he had given his 'permission' for this wanton display to go ahead.

The song ended and Vince looked ecstatic as T-Rex's '20th Century Boy' screamed through the speakers. Howard wished he was up there with Vince now claiming him as his own, being part of the thing that made Vince so happy but he knew he danced like a dad at a wedding and he didn't want to embarrass Vince. The rock star had always insisted that Howard could never embarrass him, no matter how bad his dancing was but Howard didn't want to risk it. Not whilst the Sword of Damocles hand perilously over their relationship.

Vince chose that moment to beckon sexily to Howard but the older man shook his head gently, feeling like a sullen parent being nagged to play by an excitable child.

'Please' mouthed Vince pouting slightly, only reinforcing his childishness.

Howard shook his head again and Vince visibly sighed and rolling his eyes he returned to dancing with Chad.

After a couple more songs, Howard began to shift uncomfortably, all too aware that Chad was pressing closer and closer to Vince. He'd watched in pride, when Vince had pushed him away the first few times but now Chad's advancements seemed to be working.

'Oh, maybe not.' the jealous man chuckled to himself, as Vince slapped the American's wandering hands away, half playfully, half seriously. Chad wasn't to be deterred. He kept dancing closer and closer, until he was close enough to grind his hips provocatively against Vince. The rock star pushed him away angrily and was just about to tell the American he'd crossed the line when Howard stepped in and flattened him with one simple fist to the face.

Chad hit the floor with a crash. The music stopped. The room fell silent everyone turned to look at the red faced, moustached man, standing menacingly over the bloody nosed drummer. Then their gazes turned to an embarrassed looking Vince Noir who was glaring at Howard, hissing venomously,

"What the _hell_ are you doing?"

"He was all over you."

"Yeah, I know but it was fine. I could handle him."

"I'm sure you'd have loved to handle him."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know exactly what it means!"

"We were just dancing!"

"That was not 'just dancing'! That was sex with clothes on. It was embarrassing. He was practically drooling over you and you were acting like a slut! Inviting him on."

Vince almost died of embarrassment. He couldn't believe Howard was doing this in public. He was usually so guarded about everything, banging on about how he liked his privacy but now he was inviting everyone to watch them during one of their most intimate rows.

"I wasn't acting like a slut. You're just paranoid wanker." Vince hissed, trying to stop everyone from hearing.

"Oh typical! You're sticking up for him!" Howard bellowed.

"I'm not sticking up for anyone Howard." Vince soothed "You're being unreasonable."

"You decided to dance with some American playboy instead of me. You're a slag!"

"What are you talking about? I'd have danced with you but you said you didn't like people looking at you. That was a lie though, wasn't it? I mean look at this stunt you've pulled." Vince pointed at Chad, who was being helped up by a couple of people. "Now everyone's looking at you Howard! I hope you're happy!" Then, he became suddenly serious. He stopped shouting and said, "You say you don't want to embarrass me but I've never been more embarrassed in my life than I am right now."

Howard glanced around and realised in horror that the younger man was right. What was he doing? Why had he destroyed their evening for the sake of satisfying the jealous monster in his brain that had been urging him on? He wanted to disappear into the floor. He wanted to be anywhere but in the middle of this dance floor. In the middle of this crowd. Vince with look in his eye that said he'd never been so disappointed. Howard ran. He didn't know where he was going to go, so he pushed through the crowd of people and hid in a dark corner of the club, fully expecting the rock star to follow him.

Vince watched him leave, his jaw clenched and his fist so tight that his nails were leaving marks in his palm. Then, realising everyone was still looking straight at him, he glowered at the DJ and snapped,

"Play you're music then!"

The young DJ, jumped, fumbled nervously with a record and threw it onto the decks quickly. The music blared through the speakers and people began to dance reluctantly. Most still with their eyes on Vince, not wanting to miss anything. Vince cursed at them under his breath before slumping onto the sofa next to a bloody nosed Chad.

"Sorry." the rock star mumbled.

"Ah, it ain't your fault that your boyfriend's a nutter, is it?"

"He ain't a nutter." protested Vince weekly, though as he looked at Chad's slightly mangled face, he began to doubt his own words.

"Yeah, well… it ain't your fault anyway."

"Mmm."

"You look really great tonight Vince."

"I know."

"He doesn't deserve you."

Vince turned to look at him, their eyes meeting properly for the first time that night, for the first time ever. "Mmm."

"You two don't exactly suit."

"Opposites attract."

"Yeah, for a while maybe but eventually… you'll move on." Vince suddenly realised that Chad was moving towards him. He was really close now. Their noses almost touching. "Move on to someone more like you Vince, someone who understands you. Some more like you. Someone like… me." Chad moved in for the kiss.

From the dark corner, Howard watched his boyfriend like a hawk. Or watched him as closely as he could through the sea of dancers. He watched as Chad made his move. He watched as Vince and Chad's lips got closer and closer, until… Howard looked away. He couldn't watch Vince kiss someone else. It would kill him. He knew it would. He looked down at the floor and felt as though his heart ached. He wanted to just rip it from his chest to stop the unbearable pain. He didn't need it anyway. It belonged to Vince. If Vince didn't want it, it had no purpose. He couldn't handle this anymore. So, he stood up and left, knowing full well that this was the end for him and Vince. There was no going back after this. The ultimate betrayal.

--

"What are you doing?!" Vince exclaimed, pushing Chad away roughly.

"I thought…"

"Thought what?"

"I just figured this was what you wanted."

"I love Howard."

"Really?" Chad looked genuinely shocked. "I didn't think that was serious."

"I've been living with him for a year Chad! I love him! How could that not be serious?"

Chad shrugged. "But the papers say."

"Why do people keep believing the papers?!" Vince screamed, all the dancers near by stopped. Everyone wanted to watch the moment, the sweet, light hearted, fun-loving, roguish rock star Vince Noir finally lost it. "Why wont people believe me? I'm in love with Howard. I don't want anyone else. I don't need anything else."

"Come on Vince. No one believes that."

Vince shot him with a look of pure hatred and said calmly, "Chad,you're fired."

Vince raised himself to his feet slowly, ignoring everyone around him. Ignoring the whispered gossip. Ignoring the silent rumours. Ignoring the flashes as photo after photo was taken of him. 'The paparazzi' he thought, 'you're best friend until you reach the top and then nothing pleases them more that to pull you back down. Destroying your world as you go.' He went to the bar and ordered 'something strong'. He didn't care about the taste, or what it would do to his health or how awful he would look when he left the club. All he wanted to do was drink himself into sweet, sweet oblivion.

Howard sat on a bench outside the club, waiting for the taxi to arrive. He was defiant and angry. He'd taken his final hit and he was ready to leave yet another rather disastrous chapter of his life behind him. He refused to cry. He didn't want to waste his tears on that rock ponce anymore. His knees shook and he wasn't sure if it was because the night had turned piercingly cold or because of the adrenaline that was still roaring through his veins. He was furious, ready to kill Chad if he ever saw him. Chad, the man who'd finally made Vince realise he was too good for a jazzy loser like himself.

"Moon magic." he laughed bitterly. "What a joke?" He knew he'd just been a stop gap and now Vince could go back to what he did best, playing the field. Screwing who he wanted when he wanted. He wouldn't have to worry about hiding it from Howard anymore.

Howard exploded with frustration as image after graphic image of Vince with someone else (Chad) came into his head. He wanted to turn his imagination off but he couldn't. The images kept coming like a slideshow, each slide more disturbing than the last. He kicked the bench and immediately regretted it as pain, magnified my the intense cold shot through his foot. He swore loudly.

Thankfully, it was then that the taxi decided to turn up. Howard got up stiffly nursing is injured toes. He climbed slowly in the back seat and gave the address. Then recoiled in horror as the driver turned around, sneered at him predatorily and said,

"Hello Howard."

"What the hell are you doing here?" he gasped.

"Saving you from your life."

Howard panicked. He pulled at the handle. Locked. That didn't stop him trying though. Desperate. He thumped the window with his fist. He screamed. He yelled. The driver, who didn't seem at all phased, just tore off down the road, smirking, "Don't try and escape Howard. This is your destiny."

* * *

**Apologies for the long chapter!  
Please review!  
Love ya all!**

**Sisi...xx**


	8. Chapter 8

After a few hours, the party started to die out. A few people had moved on to the next club but most had just gone home. The young DJ just hadn't been able to keep people's interest after the climax of the argument and now, he'd begun to pack up his equipment looking thoroughly defeated. Vince hadn't danced since Howard had left. There were two reasons for this; one, he didn't feel like it and, two, no one wanted to dance with him, through fear of getting floored by a jealous jazzy freak. So he contented himself with sitting at the bar, happily accepting free drinks from a hopeful man sat next to him.

"You shee," Vince slurred, to anyone who'd listen. "people jusht don't believe me when I shay I'm in love because of my reputera rep reutati… my past."

"Hmm." the barman frowned, placing another glass in front of Vince and glowering at the electro man who was none-to-subtly getting the rock star drunk.

"I love Howard." Vince picked up the glass, gestured his thanks to the barman and took a long sip, before continuing, "But people think that I'm a shlut or a shlag or something."

"But you're not?" asked the man."No, I'm monogomonomonomous."

"D'you mean monogamous?" he asked.

"Ummm," Vince frowned thoughtfully and then beamed, "Yesh."

"Okay, so where is this _Saint_ Howard? He ain't here, is he?"

"Howard's not a Saint and I think he's gone home. He's angry at me."

"Why would he be angry with a guy as sweet as you, huh?"

Vince giggled, "I ain't sweet. I'm a tit! I told him I wished he was dead."

"Why would you do that?"

"He told me I was a washed-up musician."

"I like your music."

"Everyone does." Vince replied miserably.

"That's a good thing, isn't it?"

Vince shrugged. "I want Howard to be happy more than I want to be a rock star."

"Well, I know something that would make him realise he loves you."

"What?" Vince asked with hopeful innocense. The man leant forward and whispered something in Vince's ear, lightly stroking his shoulder. Vince blinked. "But wouldn't he just think I was being unfaithful?"

"No, not if you come with me now."

Vince frowned thoughtfully. He wasn't sure if this man was trustworthy or not, but he had been very kind buying him all those drinks.

"Come on." urged the man and Vince was just about to agree, when his phone buzzed in his pocket.

"There you are." smiled the barman optimistically, shooting the other man a filthy look. "I bet that's Howard checking where you are, and you." he looked at the other man, "are barred."

"What I didn't do anything?"

"I don't allow that level of blatant petting at my bar."

"What!?"

"Out!"

The man, left looking incredibly put out as Vince pulled his phone clumsily out of his pocket and looked at the text. The letters danced, blurry and incoherent in front of his unfocused eyes.

"Can't read it." he mumbled thrusting the phone at the barman. "Wassit say?"

**Sent: 12:26  
****Date: 8/12/2008**

**Sender: xx-Howard Lover-xx**

Gone home. No need to  
panic. I'm fine. C U l8r.  
H xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The barman recited the text and Vince frowned. A text from Howard? Howard could hardly ring using his mobile, let alone text. Vince had taught him how to do it sort of, ages ago on a really boring Tuesday evening, but it was only about half an hour before Howard, after deciding texting was an insult to stationary, had declared he would never text… ever. Vince was pretty sure that even if Howard did decide to text, he simply wouldn't be able to destroy his beloved English language enough to text something like 'C U' and Vince was convinced Howard had once tried to tell him that 'l8r' was an insult to Shakespeare, or something like that. Vince had switched off by that point. Either way, it didn't add up that Howard would text and with no mention of their row. Not being entirely sure what to do Vince snatched his phone and text back.

**Sent: 12:29  
****Date: 8/11/2008**

**Sender: Vince**

U feeling alright? Texting isn't  
like you. R U angry with me?  
I'm sorry for dancing with Chad.  
He's a jerk. I've fired him.  
I love u more than nefing. I prob.  
shudnt say this in a txt. Ring me  
wen u gt this, yer?  
Lv u! Sorry.  
Vince xxxxxx

"Check this." Vince slurred, holding the phone to the barman. "Does it make sense?"

"Yeah, it's fine."

Seemingly satisfied with that, he pressed send and waited. Five minutes. Ten minutes. Fifteen minutes. With every passing second Vince became more and more sober, the nerves chasing the alcohol from his bloodstream. He felt even more anxious as he realised just how long it was since he'd last seen Howard.

He felt awful, everything from the day before suddenly came thundering back to him. Howard telling him he hated him. Vince telling Howard he wished he'd died. Howard's eyes dull from the hurt. The making up. Howard holding him. Howard kissing him. The weird faux-amicableness that today had been filled with. Both giving the other strained smiles. Both knowing that at any second the other could snap, walking on eggshells because they simply couldn't fight anymore, they didn't have the strength left. And now this. Their most public row ever.

His knight in tweed armour stepping in when he was struggling to scupper Chad's advances. But Vince was too proud to admit he'd needed help so he'd shouted. He didn't know why. It didn't make sense. It hurt so much to yell at the person he loved more than anyone, but he still did it. They both did. And the paparazzi had been there, like they always were. Snapping hundreds photos. Dictaphone's recording every hurtful comment.

Now everyone would no the truth; Vince Noir had final received his fair share of karma. He'd lied and cheated his way through all his previous relationships, each girl thinking they'd changed him and that he loved her, and now, when he'd finally found the man to change him that he truly loved, the man didn't believe he was capable of staying faithful. A twisted and sick irony. Vince laughed because he didn't know what else to do.

He glared at his phone, willing it to buzz. Why wasn't Howard replying? Something wasn't right. Howard never texted and more importantly he always rang back immediately when Vince asked him too. It had crossed the his mind that maybe Howard couldn't bring himself to talk to him right now, but then why text in the first place?

Suddenly, Vince ran to the toilet, thinking he was going to be sick. He wasn't sure if it was the fear, alcohol or a combination of the two but he retched a few times. His eyes watering, he dropped to the disgusting, sticky floor. The place stank of booze, drugs and sex, but Vince didn't notice. He was numb. Just then Vince's phone vibrated loudly on the tiled floor. Vince picked it up, shaking violently and opened the message.

**Sent: 12:53  
****Date: 8/12/2008**

**Sender: xx-Howard Lover-xx**

I'm at home. Stop worrying. Stay  
At par-t. Get drunk, hav a gd time.  
C U wen u gt bak. N Dnt worry  
bout anything, all is forgiven.  
Lv u 2!  
Howard xxxxxxxxxxxxx

'Get drunk, hav a gd time.'? 'par-t'? And Vince knew. This wasn't Howard. It couldn't be. It didn't sound like Howard. Howard simply wouldn't put that. What the hell was going on? He rang the mobile… it rang for ages and ages.

"Come on, come on. Pick up." he whispered urgently and he breathed a sigh of relief as the smooth Yorkshire voice said;

"Hello."

"Howard, oh thank god."

"Hello."

"Howard?"

"Hello. Oh this is ridiculous. Stupid bloody phone." And Vince knew he'd gone through to the answer machine. "VINCE!" the pre-recorded Howard yelled. "It's not working, it's not recording. I don't know why I need a personalised message anyway."

And then his own voice; "Because it's cool," and then his laugh "It is recording you idiot!"

"Is it?"

"Yeah, you've been recording the whole time. Don't look so embarrassed, unless you've said something totally personal like, Howard Moon's got a nice arse. But actually you probably wouldn't say that, it'd be literal narcissism, maybe you could say Vince Noir is a sex god."

"Is this still recording?"

"Umm, yep."

"Oh god."

"Look, just say something like leave a message after the bleep."

"No thank you, I'll just hang up and start again."

"No, if you hang up it just saves your…"

Vince smiled to himself. Howard really should change that message, just as he was getting lost in the memories a text came through.

**Sent: 12:53  
****Date: 8/12/2008**

**Sender: xx-Howard Lover-xx**

Why are you ringing me?

**Sent: 12:54  
****Date: 8/12/2008**

**Sender: Vince**

Who the hell are you!!  
And wher is Howard!!

**Sent: 12:58  
****Date: 8/12/2008**

**Sender: xx-Howard Lover-xx**

Very clever Vince. People say  
You're not the smartest person  
In the world but you picked that  
up quickly. Howard's fine.  
He's safe. I've got him with me.  
I wont hurt him, I love him.  
More than you ever could. You  
break his heart. You hurt him,  
you go behind his back, you upset  
him. He deserves better. Much  
better. He deserves me.

Oh no! Please God no. Please don't let him be… Vince retched. Tears streamed down his face. He screamed. He punched. He kicked. He clawed at the wall. He could hardly breath. His throat felt tight and restricted. Everything inside him burned in agony.

"Hey." the barman, on hearing the strangled noise, came in the toilets to find Vince curled up in a tormented ball of pain. "What's going on?"

"He's, he's… he's gone."


	9. Chapter 9

"Hello?"

"Alice?"

"No this is her mother."

"Is Alice there?"

"Yes, who's speaking please?"

"Ummmm, a friend."

"Oooo, how mysterious?"

"Mmm."

"Come on, tell me your name. It doesn't matter if you're dating her, I'm not old fashioned. I know she has boyfriends."

"Can you just get her for me… please?"

"No need to be rude."

"You're being a pain in the arse. I need to talk to Alice."

"I hope you're not her boyfriend. You're very rude."

"Yeah, well I'm not her boyfriend. She's not my type. Can you get her?"

"Not until I know who I'm getting her for?"

"Vince."

"No, no, no, no! Not that Vince. Not the poof that turned by son gay."

"The very one. Now I need to talk to Alice, it's really urgent."

"You are a two-timing queer. You tell my son he can do better. Tell him to get himself a nice girlfriend. Is he there? I'll tell him."

"He's not here!"

"Where is he?"

"Get Alice for me!"

"Where is he?"

Vince snapped. "He's been kidnapped!"

Silence.

And then, "W-what?"

"He's been kidnapped." Vince sobbed. "I didn't know who else to call. I don't what to do?"

"Have you rang the police?"

"No, not yet. I… couldn't, I…"

"Get off the bloody phone and ring the police then you morron! I can't believe you've got my son kidnapped."

"It's nothing to do with me, the text said that they loved Howard."

"Text?"

"Yeah, it's like a letter you can send through your mobile."

"I know what a text is you idiot. What I meant was, you've been contacted by the kidnapper?"

"Yeah…"

"And you still haven't thought to ring the police?"

"My mind's all over the place." Vince whimpered.

"Your mind's all over the place! what about me? I might have lost my only son because of you."

"It's not my fault!"

"You keep telling yourself that. I love my son, if I've lost him, I'll never forgive you."

"You love him? That's a joke! You kicked him out of your life because he wanted to be a musician. And you refused to listen when he told you he was gay, you don't love him. I do."

"Whatever you two have is not love! Love is something sacred between a man and a woman."

"You bitch!"

"How dare you?"

Then, Vince heard Alice's voice in the background._ "Mum, what's going on? Who are you talking to?_"

"Vince."

"_Noir?_"

"Yes."

"_What does he want?_"

"The idiot's managed to get your brother kidnapped."

"_What? When? What happened? Is he sure he hasn__'__t just left him? Give me the phone._"

"Do you really want to talk to him?"

"_Yes._"

Vince waited whilst the phone was passed over and eventually he heard Alice's shaken voice.

"Vince?"

"Yeah."

"What's happened?"

"He's gone." Vince suddenly burst into tears.

"Okay, where are you?"

"H-home. I had to check you know, I didn't want to believe he wouldn't be there."

"Right, do you want me to ring the police?"

"No, I, I can do it."

"You sure?"

Vince nodded, then, realising he was on the phone and Alice couldn't see his gesture he said,

"Yeah." And "Will you come and stay with me?"

"I… I thought you hated me."

"It's not about me, is it? It's about Howard. Please, I've got no one. I can't sit here on my own, I'll go mad."

"Okay, I'll leave now. I'll be there in about 3 hours."

Vince nodded pointlessly again but Alice continued. "Don't worry about the police. I'll ring them."

"Okay."

"See you soon."

---

Vince just sat in silence, allowing the darkness to engulf him. He was vaguely aware that Howard's dad had shook his hand and he was pretty sure Alice had given him a tentative hug, when they had arrived. He was so numb he couldn't really remember. He hadn't taken much notice of Howard's parents, though he did notice that Howard's dad looked remarkably similar to his son. This only made him feel even worse, he couldn't sit across the room from someone who looked so much like Howard. They hadn't been there long when Vince had had enough and decided to go to bed. He pulled the covers over his head and hid from the cruel world. He pretended everything was fine. Under those covers he could be anyone and anywhere he wanted to be.

He just sat for a while thinking, or more accurately, trying not to think about what could've happened to Howard. Until, beyond the darkness and the silence, he heard the doorbell ring followed by the sound of solemn voices.

"Good Evening."

"Hello Officer."

"Can we come in?"

"Of course, of course."

And it wasn't long before there was a gentle knock at his bedroom door and Alice walked in.

"Vince." she said softly to the mound of bed clothes. "The police are here. They want to talk to you, is that okay?"

Vince pulled the duvet from over him, and looked up at her. His eyes were wide like a frightened child and, on seeing the pair of fluorescent yellow of the police uniforms, he shook his head determinedly. He couldn't speak right now.

"I know it's hard Mr Noir, but the more information we can get about Howard now, the more likely we are to find him." smiled the policewoman gently.

Vince nodded, he still couldn't bring himself to speak, and the woman sat down on the bed. The male police officer opted to stay at the doorway; 'trapping me in,' Vince thought. Not that he'd ever want to leave the safety and warmth of his bed ever again anyway.

"Okay Mr Noir. Tell me what you know."

Vince suddenly broke down into tears. Head in his hands. He sobbed loudly until he felt the bed sag slightly as Alice sat down next to him and rubbed his back soothingly. He could tell without looking that she was tearful too.

The policewoman looked incredibly apologetic and said, "Okay, okay. I can't even begin to imagine how hard this is for you, but it'll be better if you can tell us something."

Vince didn't look up but he nodded his head slightly.

"Alice has told me some of it, so I'll tell you what I know and you can fill in the blanks. Is that okay?"

Vince nodded again and Alice gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

"So you were on stage…"

"At the Royal Albert Hall, it's was a charity thing."

"And then you went to an after show party. Is that right?"

Vince nodded.

"Now, when you were there I understand there was some kind of… disagreement between you and Howard. Can you tell me what that was about?"

"I was dancing with this guy, Chad." Vince sobbed "We were just dancing I swear, b-but he was a bit… full on. Howard got jealous and punched him. He was just protecting me. He was only trying to help me because I couldn't get Chad to stop. But I'm stupid. I yelled at him and we argued, in front of everyone until eventually he ran off."

"What time was this?"

"I dunno, about quarter to 11."

"Was that the last time you saw him?"

Vince nodded, bursting into a fresh set of tears.

"Okay, so that's a reason why he might have run off." The policewoman said to the officer by the door. He nodded writing something down on a notebook.

"He hasn't run off!" Vince sobbed, "I've got a text. It says it's not Howard, he can't text anyway. I've got it here somewhere." he looked around frantically for his mobile.

"I know, I know. But Vince, you have to remember that when someone runs away it's usually because they don't want to be found."

"Howard wouldn't do that." Vince said, trying to convince himself as much as the police.

"Okay, but we have to consider all the options. You say you've got messages on your phone, would it be okay if I took that with me?"

He nodded again.

"Now, we're going to assume he's been abducted, for now, but we're not going to dismiss the fact he may have run away."

"He hasn't run away!" Vince gave a strangled sort of shout, "He loves me. He couldn't do that to me. Alice tell them. He wouldn't have just run away."

"They're just covering their options Vince." she answered truthfully. She wasn't always sure what her headstrong brother was capable of.

"Exactly, we're just going to do everything we need to do to find him, okay? Now, what we're going to do first is locate Howard's phone, that shouldn't be too difficult. Maybe take us a few hours at the most. He had a tracking chip in it, didn't he?"

"Yeah." sobbed Vince, "Frank puts tracking chips in all the phones I buy. In case someone abducts me."

"Okay, so we'll ring you when we find the phone. I'm not saying it'll be with him mind but it might be and it's the only lead we've got so far."

Vince nodded. The policewoman held out her hand and he took it gingerly.

"I'll show you to the door." said Alice, standing up and ushering the police from the room, leaving the cold air to surround him once again.

Vince went to the window and watched the police push through the crowds paparazzi to get to their car. Unbelievable, he thought, they can't even leave me alone now. He wasn't crying anymore. He was pretty sure he didn't have anymore tears to cry. When Alice had finished showing the police out she returned to the bedroom, to find Vince once again wrapped up in the blankets like a caterpillar in a cocoon.

"Why don't you come downstairs?" she said, "You said you didn't want to be alone. This is tough for all of us."

"Imagine how hard it would have been if you'd let him die." Vince said bitterly,

"I guess I deserved that. I just thought I was doing what was best, you have to believe that. I do love my brother, I just wanted him to happy. He's had such a hard life. He was the black sheep of the family, our mum never really accepted him because he had ambition. He actually wanted to better himself, no one in our family did that. We all just accept what is. You know, when he tried to come out, mum told him she'd knock him back in. That's when he married Charlotte."

"Was that her name?"

"Yeah. Eventually, he just stopped trying to please everyone else and just started being himself. But I've never seen him as happy as he was with you. I only want what's best for him and I realise now, that's you. I'm sorry about everything at the hospital. And I'm sorry I didn't trust you when you told me that the papers lied. I saw that article that said that me and you were together. I didn't realise they made things up so much. I am sorry. Please Vince, forgive me."

Vince lifted his head and looked her right in the eyes and said,

"I'm not sure I can just forgive you for what you did. But we used to get on, didn't we? And this is all about Howard now, we need to put this stuff between us behind us."

"Thank you Vince. Come downstairs, you can't sit up here alone. I'll make you some tea.""I'm gonna need more than tea." he said, raising himself laboriously from the bed, still refusing to let go of the duvet.

"Ofcourse." said Alice, linking his arm so that he could lean against her. He wasn't strong enough to carry himself. Slowly and carefully they made their way down the massive staircase and into the living room.

"Vince." smiled Howard's dad weakly, as they walked through the door. "You look awful son, would you like me to get you a whiskey?"

Vince nodded, he didn't normally drink whiskey but this wasn't exactly a normal situation and the thought of burning alcohol in his throat didn't seem that bad. He couldn't hurt inside anymore than he already did. Howard's dad, went to the whiskey cabinet in the corner of the room and pulled out a bottle.

"Perfect." he remarked, pouring two large glasses of the brown liquid. "You must call me Jim by the way, Vince, and this is my wife Helen." he said handing over one of the glasses.

"You must call me Mrs Moon." scowled Helen.

"Mum!"

"Ignore her Vince, you call her Helen. I mean, you're practically family, right?""Don't say things like that!" scowled Helen. "He's not practically family at all. He's the man who ruined my sons life."

Vince's insides twisted painfully. There was an element of truth to that. Howard had nearly died last year and Vince had been yelling at him almost non-stop for the past few months and now. He had made Howard's life a living misery. Maybe the older man had run off. Maybe he'd just finally fed-up of everything and left. But without Alice to run to, the question was… where would he have gone?

"You ignore her." Alice whispered in his ear, "It's the grief talking. Anyway, she only ever see's what she wants to see. She was still refusing to admit Howard was gay right up until your kiss at the train station was plastered all over the news."

Vince almost smiled, almost. Then, he winced sharply as he took a sip of his drink.

"Not a whiskey drinker son?" noted Jim.

Vince shook his head.

"Their sort aren't." snarled Helen.

"Howard likes whiskey." Vince said quietly, "That's why I bought the cabinet."

"Like I said." repeated Helen. "Your sort aren't whiskey drinkers."

"We're not all the same, you know. We do have different interests and opinions on things. We're not all hair dressers and make-up artists who walk around talking about Gucci and Prada. There's even a few premiership football players who are gay. That defies the stereotype, right?"

"I'm not doubting all that, all I'm saying is my son isn't gay."

"If he's not gay then he wouldn't love me."

"If he loved you then he wouldn't have run away."

"Mum!"

"Helen!"

"It's fine." smiled Vince weakly, patting Alice's hand that had shot to Vince's shoulder in protest of her mothers words. "She's got a point."

"I have. My son is not gay Mr Noir and neither are you. I've seen you in the papers..."

"Papers lie."

"…Out every night, with a different girl. I don't know why, but you clearly think that you're going to sell more records if people think you're gay. It's Elton John and George Michael all over again, though why you chose to drag Howard into it I'll never know."

"I chose him because I love him." Vince said bravely.

"I highly doubt that." scorned Helen, taking a sip of cherry from the glass that she was holding.

"Helen, stop being so rude." warned Jim, smiling pleasantly at Vince. He really did look like Howard. His eyes had similar small brown eyes, with crinkles at the corner when he smiled. Vince returned the gesture weakly before looking at the floor and taking another long sip of his drink. He choked slightly at the unfamiliar taste, provoking another cruel look from Helen.

"You know," said Vince suddenly, breaking the uncomfortable silence that had built up in the room. "love, to me, isn't about being gay or straight. It's not about falling in love with a gender It's about falling in love with a person. I'd never been in love until I met your son but I know now that it's the greatest feeling in the entire world. If I've lost him…" Vince trailed off.

"Hey," Alice said, "Think positive yeah Vince. Like you did when he in a coma."

Vince nodded.

"Coma?" exclaimed Helen, "When was this?"

Vince wanted to scream 'see you don't care about him. You don't know anything about him anymore.' but he couldn't be bothered. She wasn't worth it. So, instead, he leant back into the sofa, pulled his duvet around him and closed his eyes, allowing the comforting darkness to trap him in. He blocked out the sound of Alice explaining what had happened a year ago. He blocked out the cruel accusations flung at him by Helen. He blocked out the sound of Jim pouring himself another glass of whiskey. He blocked out everything, letting the nothingness take over. Eventually, he must've fallen asleep because when he opened his eyes again there was sunshine streaming through the large bay windows, a blanket had been laid over hm and Alice was talking on the phone looking incredibly anxious.

"You've found his phone?… Where?… At the bottom of the river."

* * *

**Couldn't resist sorry!!**

**6 days till Santa comes!!! AHHHHH, so excited!!  
Thanks for reading!  
Sisi...xx**


	10. Chapter 10

Vince watched as a crane pulled a rusty car out of the river, the second one of the day. The water poured out of it slowly, seeping through the gaps by the doors, boot, bonnet. When it was sufficiently drained the crane let it go and it slammed onto the bank. Vince winced at the sudden noise and his heart pounded in his chest as a few policemen looked through it quickly. Finally, the most senior of the officers shook her head to say no one was in it.

The police had been combing the river for four hours. They'd stopped all the cars from going across the nearby bridge and there was a line of flashing police cars all along the riverbank, which only served to draw the attention of people walking past and it wasn't long before a big crowd of people and paparazzi had gathered by the barrier nearest Vince. Every now and again a noise news crew helicopter would fly over, or a particularly brave (or possibly mad photographer) would leap the police barrier and take a few photos before being caught by the police dragged back behind the 'safety line'.

"Hey Vince. Can we have your autograph?"  
"Vince? What's happened?"  
"Vince we love you!"

"Can't somebody shut them up?" Vince grumbled to Alice, as she handed him a plastic cup of steaming coffee before sitting down on the bench next to him.

"Who?"

"Them." he nodded his head at the group of squealing fans as one screamed,

"Vince I'm pregnant with your child."

"Morons" he muttered, taking a sip of his drink and watching a police diver enter the water carefully. He shuddered at the thought of what they might find.

"You cold?" Alice asked. "I can get a blanket from the ambulance if you want."

"I'm fine."

"I'd better ring mum and dad a minute. They said they wanted to know what's happening."

"Nothing's happening." Vince groaned. "What I want to know is if they don't find him, how are they going to know he's defiantly not there?"

"I think they'll be pretty sure if they stop looking."

"I can't deal with this Al. The not knowing is killing me."

"Well, would you prefer to leave?"

"No." Vince shook his head, and looked up anxiously as one of the divers emerged from the river, then he gave the sign that he'd found nothing and Vince breathed a shaky sigh of relief.

--

They sat in silence for a while, watching as diver after diver entered the water and came out with nothing. Suddenly, a diver emerged in a state of near panic and the fifty or so policemen and women leapt into action.

"What's going on?" Vince squeaked, clutching Alice's arm.

"I don't know." They stood up and moved closer to the river as another diver leapt into the water, followed by another one. Moments later the three emerged holding a lifeless body. The corpse was passed to those stood on the bank.

"Is it him?" breathed Vince. His knees buckling beneath him. He swore he'd have fallen if he hadn't been leaning on Alice.

"I don't know. I can't… I can't see his face. There's police in the way."

"Move." muttered Vince. "This is killing me."

"Miss Moon." said a voice from behind them. They span round and found themselves facing an important looking police officer.

"Yes." she answered.

"We think we've found Howard." Vince's heart plummeted and he heard Alice sob beside him. "We need positive identification. Are you up to it?"

Alice shook her head. "I can't. I don't want to see him if he's d-..." she broke down into tears. Vince put his arm round he shoulders and she sobbed into his shoulder. Then he took a deep breath and said, "I'll do it."

"It should be a relative really." the policeman frowned.

"He's practically family." Alice wept, "He's Howard's boyfriend."

"I know who he is." Everyone knew who he was. "Okay, but you have to understand he's going to look different. He could have been down there for a couple days. He's going to be bloated and grey and he's going to be…"

"Please stop talking." begged Vince. "He'll look different, I understand."

"Okay Mr Noir, if you could just follow me." Vince nodded and followed the policeman towards an ambulance.

Everything was silent now. Vince walked past the police and the news crews, each person with their head dipped in respect. There was no talking, no radioing, no flashing blue lights, no photographs. Just deafening, ear-splitting silence. Vince gulped as he reached the body bag. The eerie silence, the blue of the police lights, the bitter cold wind, the hundreds of eyes fixed straight on him; none of it felt real. It was like a dream, or more like a terrifying nightmare.

"Are you ready?" the officer asked. Vince nodded, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He heard the zip of the body bag being undone, but he couldn't look. He wasn't ready. He didn't want to see the cold, dead face of his love. He didn't want know it was all over. Not yet. Just not yet!

"Vince." the officer said gently. "Can you take a look for me please?"

Vince opened one eye, he gasped. He dropped to his knees and he cried. He cried and cried as though he'd never ever stop.

* * *

**Sorry it's short but it was either this or a 4,000 word chapter and i thought that was just too long.**

**Also, as a sort of reply to JantoFan: No, i'm not going to leave you with the preivious cliff hanger over christmas. i'm going to leave you with this one, partly because I'm mean and partly because I'm not sure what happens next myself yet.**

**Anyway everybody, have you a wonderful christmas time!!  
Hope Santa brings everyone everything they want and more!! And i hope everyone eats far too much on christmas day, i know I intend to.**

Hope you're still enjoying the story,  
love ya!  
Sisi...xx


	11. Chapter 11

When they'd got back to the house, Vince had got straight to bed without so much as a 'hello' to Howard's concerned parents.

"How's he holding up?" Jim asked Alice as Vince disappeared into his room.

"Not good. He's only just stopped crying since he saw the body and he hasn't said a word all day."

"Well, it must have been a terrible shock for him. He doesn't strike me as the most emotionally mature person anyway, and I just can't what he must've gone through waiting for the police to open the bag, waiting to see…"

"I couldn't do it. But… I mean, he should be happy that it wasn't Howard."

"Are you happy?"

"No. I just want to know where he is."

"Exactly, Vince probably feels exactly the same. And now the police have lost all their leads."

"I know." They was a silence for a moment, both thinking about what might have been, until Alice said, "They told me that there're only two reasons why people kidnap."

"Who did?"

"The police. They said people only kidnap for either money or love. They recon if we haven't received a ransom note by tomorrow then it's a love kidnapping and then… well, they're not sure if they'll get any clues at all." Jim ran his hands through his hair and sighed exasperatedly.

"Let's not try to think about things like that. We have to stay positive, for all our sakes."

"Mmm, where's mum?"

"She's in the garden. It's been all over the news all day. I think she had to get away a bit."

"I guess that's the problem with living with someone so famous, no privacy."

"Mmm."

"You know." yawned Alice. "I'm going to go to bed too. Let's hope things get better tomorrow."

--

After days of waiting by the phone, watching Vince slum around the house wearing Howard's shirts and listening to her mother's snide remarks against the young man, Alice was incredibly shocked to find her mum holding Vince in a tight embrace when she came down the stairs in the morning.

"I'm so sorry." The older woman repeated over and over in a strangled whisper. "I didn't realise papers could be that vicious. I thought you were a two timing loser. I've been so mean to you. I can see that you love Howard. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

"It's fine. We need to stick together. It's okay." Vince sobbed. Alice picked up the magazine that had made her mother see sense as it dropped from her hand.

**Howard Moon Suicide Causes Family Affair**

Last week, it was reported that Howard Moon, ex-partner of rock sensation Vince Noir, has disappeared. Noir insists he was abducted, although the police have said they are not going to rule out, running away and suicide. The latter option becoming more and more likely, after the police tracked Moon's mobile phone to the bottom of the river Thames. However, after extensive combing of the river no body was revealed, although the police say this technique is only 75% effective and that there is a big possibility they will never find the failed jazz musician from Leeds.

It seems that Moon, after finding his partner sleeping with his sister, Alice, decided he couldn't continue in this world anymore. Moon's bed was hardly cold before Noir, ever the opportunist, had moved Alice into his large house. Not only that, Moon's parents have showed support for this new relationship by also moving in with the young couple. Not a typical move for our reckless golden boy of British music but who are we to judge his increasingly complicated private life.

Both Noir and Alice, in an act of pure audacity, arrived at the crime scene by the together and didn't leave each others sides throughout the entire search. We're beginning to wonder whether the new couple would have preferred it if Howard _had_ been found at the bottom of the river. At least then, they wouldn't have to worry about any awkward conversations on his return. Of course with this amount of controversy, the rumour mill's been spinning them out faster than ever; but is there any truth behind the stories that Noir himself hired a hit man to finish Moon off in a replication of the famous Courtney Love/ Kurt Cobain allegations of 1994?

Alice couldn't read anymore. She dropped the paper into the bin and left Vince to be smothered in her mother's perfume-stenched embrace.

--

Weeks past and there was still no news of Howard's whereabouts. The police were still on the case although they'd taken most of their officers off it, claiming the case had 'gone cold'. That was when Vince had decided to do an interview on BBC News as a feeble attempt to get people back on the look out.

"You sure you're up to this?" Alice had asked.

"No." he'd admitted quietly, "But I've got to do something. I'm world famous for God's sake. The media has put out enough rubbish about me, I think they owe me."

"They're going to be there every step of the way now, you prepared for that?"

"They're there every step of the way anyway and I'll do whatever I have to, to get him back."

--

Now, Alice was sat backstage watching a TV screen as the newscaster introduced Vince.

"Vince Noir. Now it's been a few weeks since your partner, ummm Howard went missing. You think he was kidnapped but the police have said this morning that they're stopping the search because they're unlikely to find him. I mean how did you feel when they told you that?"

"Numb. I didn't feel anything. They want to give up because something's difficult. Imagine if we all did that. Nothing would ever get done."

"Absolutely. So, you're here to, well, I suppose _raise _awareness that Howard's out there. Here's a picture of him for people at home so that they can recognise him and a number at the bottom of the screen to ring if you've got any information at all. Now, Vince. You tell us what happened. There's a lot of conspiracy theories surrounding this whole incident."

"No, conspiracy theories surround me. There's always lies about me in magazines and papers. To be honest with you, it's destroying my life. I think I know how Brittany felt now, just before she shaved her hair off.""Well, I guess this is your chance to set things straight. What _really_ happened, Vince?"

"Well, we were having a bit of tough time, because of all the lies in the papers, and we had a bit of an argument in a club… yeah, that's it." Vince said, as a clip of him rejecting Chad followed by a clip of the northerner leaving the club was shown. "and then, yeah, there you can see him leaving. A while later, I got a text from his phone."

"Ah yes, we have that message hear. Umm, right, so it said: Very clever Vince. People say You're not the smartest person In the world but you picked that up quickly. Howard's fine. He's safe. I've got him with me. I wont hurt him, I love him. More than you ever could. You break his heart. You hurt him, you go behind his back, you upset him. He deserves better. Much better. He deserves me. That sounds terrifying."

Vince nodded.

"Right, so they tracked the phone and found it at the bottom of a river, is that right?"

"Yeah."

"But you don't believe he's taken his own life."

"No, he wasn't weak; _isn__'__t_ weak. He's been taken. I know he has."

"I can't even begin to imagine what you and his family are going through."

"It's hell. I kind of fiery, living hell. I wake up every morning with a sick feeling in my stomach that never goes away. I've got a constant headache. All I want to do is sleep but I can't. And if I do manage to sleep, even a little, I have terrifying nightmares. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of finding him again." Vince's voice was high pitched and sounded as though he was talking through a bubble but he fought back the relentless tears. He wasn't going to cry on TV.

"And you want everyone to be on the look out."

"Yes, if anybody knows or sees anything, please can they tell the police. Please."

---

Days went by and the police still had no significant leads but now the media were hot on the story; every clue, every half clue and even every dubious theory (which emerged daily) were reported.

"At least they're reporting the truth now." muttered Vince, putting down a paper with a story of someone who'd seed a 6ft 2, moustached, northerner in Leeds town centre.

"And everyone's on your side again." agreed Helen, putting down a plate of ham sandwiches in front of him.

"I can't."

"Try." she urged. "Please. You're my son too now, and no son of mine goes hungry."

"I'm not hungry. I feel sick."

"Keep your strength up, you're already too skinny."

Vince shook his head, pushing the plate away from him decidedly.

Eat something Vince." she ordered with an authority in her voice like Vince had never heard. No one _told_ him to do anything, ever. He did what he wanted and other people bent over backwards until they snapped in half just to accommodate whatever crazy notion he happened to be following at that particular time. He didn't know whether it was out of shock or out of a great sense of 'what's the point' when it came to anything slightly energetic (like arguing over sandwiches), which he'd developed since Howard had gone, but he obediently picked up a triangular sandwich, raised it to his lips and took a tiny bite of the bread.

"There," she smiled, "you'll feel a bit better once you've got that down you."

He nodded silently and continued to nibble at the bread.

"She really likes you now." smiled Alice slyly, once her mother had gone upstairs to clean the house.

"Everyone does. It's part of being this good looking and charismatic. I can't help myself, people meet me and fall in love." Then he smiled at the irony. "Is that a blessing or a curse? I mean in meant I met Howard, but it's also what we were fighting over."

"You know he loved you and trusted you."

"Don't talk about him in the past tense!"

"Sorry, but you do know that, don't you?"

"Yeah."

"I mean, he's just scared because he thinks you're too good for him."

"He thinks I'm too good for him?! Are you joking? I'm an airhead. Take away my talent and my clothes and what d'you get?"

"The man Howard fell in love with."

----

Vince woke up early, as he always did these days, and padded downstairs. There in front of the door were hundreds of letters and sympathy cards off loyal and loving fans. Each one saying pretty much the same thing; 'sorry for everything and we're on the look out for Howard. Head up Vince. We'll find him.' One fan had even written; 'Love like yours and Howard's is as inevitable as the sunrise. You're meant to be together so destiny will find a way to make it so.' That was the only card Vince had kept. It had moved him when he read it and it gave him hope when he was feeling most hopeless. As he was sifting through the new cards, he spotted something that wasn't a card or a letter of support. It was a typed note with no envelope and no address.

_Vince,_

_It__'__s me. I was right you know. Howard hates you. He told me that you were unfaithful. He told me what you did. He doesn__'__t want to be found, so stop looking. He__'__s happy with me. He loves me. We love each other._

He read it and reread it. Over and over again, each word being burned onto his skull. 'hates you' 'loves me' 'stop looking.'

Eventually he stopped reading it, but his brain had cruelly recorded it and was playing it over and over again searching for some clue as to it could be. Vince wasn't sure this constituted as a ransom note? Not really, they didn't want money. That would have been easier. He'd have given anything to have Howard back. He'd have given up all his money. But the psycho didn't want money. They wanted Howard.

He didn't cry, he didn't scream. He'd done enough of that already, instead he calmly rang the police and told them about the note.

It took them over an hour to arrive and when they did, they seemed thoroughly uninspired. Vince gazed at them hopefully, as did the Moon's who'd been woken by the doorbell, but the police man shook his head sorrowfully.

"We can check it for fingerprints, but beyond that, I don't think we'll get anything from it." Vince hadn't expected anything more but it still felt like someone had just grabbed his heart and squeezed it tightly in their fist. "But," the policeman added, "If you get anymore of these, let us know."

"Of course." said Alice.

"Did it come in an envelope?"

"No."

"So it was just shoved through like this?"

"Yes."

"Ah, now that's interesting."

"It is?"

"Mmm, that means the kidnapper is close."


	12. Chapter 12

A week or so later, another note was posted through the door:

_Vince,  
__Stop searching, he__'__s not in love with you anymore. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me._

Again, Vince gave it to the police and, again, they said it didn't give them any truly significant information but they took it anyway and promised to keep looking in the local areas.

"I know this whole note thing is creepy and weird, but at least we know Howard's close by." Alice said hopefully.

"I agree." Jim chimed in. "With every note we've got to be getting closer to finding him, haven't we?"

"Yes, each note can only lead us closer to Howard. It's a bit like a Shirlock Holmes mystery."

"More like a Hollywood horror movie or a backwards fairy tale." mumbled Vince, "Where they've captured the knight in shining armour and left the pathetic princess to do the rescuing."

"Vince," said Jim. "You son, are in no way pathetic. I know you've worked bloody hard to become a rock star and I know about your childhood, none of that could have been easy for you. And you're no princess. Princess' are unable to fend for themselves. You're an incredibly strong individual Vince Noir. And don't you forget it."

--

A few days later a third note arrived, which read:

_He__'__s never going back, we__'__re happy together. He__'__s told me he loves me. _

--

Over time, Vince drove himself crazy thinking about the notes and the texts. He'd recorded them all to memory and he'd run them through his mind over and over again. He couldn't think of anyone he knew who loved Howard. A few of his friends had admitted he was quite good looking but no one was fanatical to the extent of obsession about the northerner. It was strange. Vince was the famous one, Vince was the one who got voted sexiest male in every competition known to man and Vince was the one who had the manic fans that sent him letters with pictures of themselves, asking to meet up or sent him bras and knickers with telephone numbers stitched inside them, begging for a phone call or the odd love letter claiming that he was meant to be with a total stranger because it was destiny; and yet, it was Howard who had been kidnapped. It didn't make sense.

"I just don't understand why this person would send me letters, if they don't want to be found." groaned Vince, as he sat cross-legged studying them for the millionth time."They're bragging, aren't they? They're proud of themselves. Think they've won." Alice sighed "But Vince, they may have Howard's body but you'll always have his heart - always. Now, stop reading those. You'll drive yourself crazy."

---

A few days later;

_He hates you._

_--_

Vince stood on the balcony, looking over his vast garden. He pulled Howard's coat around his thin shoulders. Even the extra layers failed to protect him from the intense cold of the evening and he shivered dramatically.

"Vince?" Alice's soft Yorkshire lilt broke the silence. "You okay?"

He didn't turn around he just said simply, "Look at this."

"At what?" she asked, joining him by the banister.

"Everything. Look at what I own." They stood there for a moment or two in silence, just looking, before Vince continued. "D'you know I've never seen the end of my garden? I could never be bothered to walk that far. And look at this view, it's probably perfect. I'm famous, people love me. I've got the best job in the world. It's not even like real work. I've got all I ever dreamed of when I was a child. I've got everything, but… I'd give it all up tomorrow if I could just have him back." He turned to face Alice, tears shining in his eyes. "I need him Alice. I can't live without him."

"Come on Vince." she pulled him into a big hug. "You stay strong. He wouldn't want you to be like this."

"I know, I just… I miss him so much."

"We all do."

_---_

Almost a week later a fifth note arrived.

_Vince,  
__He__'__s over you. We__'__re in love, we always will be. He__'__s never coming back Vince. He doesn__'__t want you anymore. Till death do we part. That__'__s what we said and now it__'__s true._

Vince finished reading and walked to the phone to ring the police with this new 'clue'.

"Woah!" said Alice, jumping up and taking the paper out of Vince hand, "What was that last bit? 'Till do death do we part?' Mum, you don't think it could be…"

"Charlotte?" her mother finished, in a hushed tone.

"His ex-wife?" frowned Vince

"_psycho_ ex-wife." Alice said through gritted teeth. "She was always mental. Totally wrong for him, but _someone_" she glared at her mum, "told him she was perfect for him."

"I didn't say that."

"You did!" snapped Alice. "He told you he was gay and you told him to stop trying to give you a panic attack and then you convinced him to marry Charlotte. And that turned out well, didn't it?"

"Alright Alice." warned Jim, "I'm sure your mother realises that was a mistake."

"Mmm." scowled Alice. "That was the stupidest thing he ever did."

"Why was she a psycho?" That was Vince.

"I thought he'd have told you about her." said Jim.

Vince shook his head. "He mentioned she'd existed. But he said that she was a part of his life he'd rather forget. All he told me was that they'd gone out for a while and then he'd divorced her because he wasn't happy."

"Well, that's half of it." Alice scorned

"Half? What's the other half?"

"Okay." sighed Alice. "But you're not going to like it."

"Just tell me, it sounds important."

"And I'll ring the police and tell them about this new note." said Jim. Vince nodded but was staring straight at Alice as if to say 'come on then, tell me.'

"Right. As you know, Howard married Charlotte because _someone_ made him feel guilty about liking a guy." Two younger people in the room looked at Helen, who shifted uncomfortably in her seat and said,

"I'm sorry, okay? It was a stupid thing to do. I was in shock."

"It wasn't about you though, was it mum?"

"I know, I'm sorry. Just tell the story will you." Alice shook her head disapprovingly but continued,

"They got married. And it was fine, for a few months but it was obvious Howard wasn't really _comfortable _with everything and he wasn't exactly the best husband. He wanted to be a jazz musician, so he refused to work apart from a few gigs at a local club. Charlotte refused to work or do… well, anything. Because she wanted to be a WAG. They lived in a horrible flat, barely surviving on government money, spending everyday together. Their marriage was cold. They hardly ever slept together and one day she caught him watching…" Alice stopped and saw her mother pricking her ears up. Helen didn't know this bit so she said "well, she worked out he was gay anyway."

"What a way to find out." smirked Vince.

"Oh I might've known you'd like that bit. Anyway," Alice continued, "I think he told her it was a one off and that they'd work through it. They didn't and eventually he found out she'd been cheating on him since before they got married. He was broken by it. Humiliated. That's why he's so fragile when people talk about being unfaithful."

"That's why he's always so on edge…"

"…with these rumours about you? Yeah, probably. Anyway, he filed for divorce and suddenly she decided she was in love with him. Couldn't be without him and basically stalked him for a few months. Eventually, he took out a restraining order against her and moved house without her knowing.""And then I made him famous and she found him again… Why didn't you tell me any of this earlier?"

"He didn't want people to know about it, he pretends it never happened."

"Yeah, but when the police asked 'do you know anyone who might've done this?' you could have said then. Or when I asked."

"I just didn't think." said Alice. "I thought she'd have got over it by now. It _was_ fifteen years ago."

"Well at least we know who it is now." Vince said eagerly, "tell the police and they can find her."

"Okay but don't get to excited, we don't know it was her."

"Yes, we do! The police can arrest her and find Howard."

"Yeah, but they might not find him.""Don't be so pessimistic."

"I just don't want you to get your hopes up, Vince. It'll be hard to come back from if they don't find him."

"They will, I just know they will."

----

**So there you go! Now you know who it is. It's not the biggest surprise ever, though I never really intended it to be. I did think about making it an ex called Gregg like a few of you suggested but… I thought this made more sense.  
****Sisi…xx**


	13. Chapter 13

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed… and a big shout out to Swisstony for coming up with the idea of Charlotte Gregg! Told you i'd rob it! =]**

**

* * *

**

A few hours later, the police had just left the house, promising to follow the lead and search for Charlotte Gregg, Vince was sat on the sofa crossed leg and smiling happily.

"I've got a good feeling about this." he beamed.

"Me too." smiled Helen encouragingly. "Why don't I go and make us a brew?"

"No we need to celebrate." beamed Vince, "I'll get the champagne."

"Vince." Jim said kindly, "Why don't we wait until Howard comes home before we break out the champagne?"

"Don't worry, I wont get the best champagne. Just the second best." And he ran off in search of ridiculously overpriced booze.

"He's optimistic." Jim frowned. "I'm a bit worried. He seems a bit naive to the situation."

"Of course he is." said Alice. "He's never had to grow up, has he?"

"I need some fresh air." sighed Helen. "It's getting stuffy in here." She left and Alice fixed her dad with a very serious look,

"I really hope they find him this time dad." she whispered.

"And me, darling." he said hugging his daughter tight. "I want to apologize to him for everything me and your mother did. I want to apologize for not supporting him from the start."

"Please don't cry dad."

"But it's like you said, it's been 15 years since I last spoke to him. I never thought… 15 years Al. That's too long."

"Yes." said Vince, returning with the champagne and setting it down on the coffee table. "But you're here now, that's all that matters. You can't change the past."

"Vince Noir." smiled Jim, letting go of his daughter and turning to hug the rock star. "You know," he whispered, so that only they Vince could hear "when Alice told me that you and Howard had moved in together I felt sure that it was a mistake."

"Everyone did."

"I thought you were this arrogant, egoistic playboy, who was going to break his heart. But now, well… I'm proud that you are the one he chose."

"Thank you." Vince choked.

During the embrace, Alice slipped out of the room and found her mother sat on one of the expensive patio chairs, fiddling with her bracelet.

"Mum, come inside. It's freezing out here."

"He needs to come back now Alice. I don't want to see hurt in that boys eyes anymore. I can cope with the pain of losing my son, I mean, I lost him years ago, didn't I? But we need people like Vince in this world, people who are positive and good at heart and I just feel that, if Howard doesn't come back soon. It'll break that boys heart forever."

---

Days went by, there was still no word from the police and, like Jim had predicted, Vince's optimism was fading fast. He would sit by the phone all day. Gaze at it. Waiting. Willing it to ring. Then it would and before it had even trilled once he would answer it.

"Hello?"… "No, I don't want any double glazing. Thanks, bye." He replaced the receiver and sighed.

"Cheer up." encouraged Alice. "They'll ring soon."

"Yeah." nodded Vince weakly, "I just thought they'd have found something by now."

"They will soon."

"Yeah."

--

"Howard!" Vince screamed. "Howard where are you?"

He was in a corridor. There was a door at the end of the corridor. He needed to reach it. He knew that Howard would be behind it. He just knew it. He was so close to him. So, so close. He ran, faster, faster, faster. But the door stayed where it was, just out of reach. He looked down at the floor. He was on a treadmill. He tried to jump off, but he couldn't. His feet were glued to the moving floor. It was dragging him backward. No. I can't. I must… must reach…"

"Howard!" he screamed again. Then a voice. A screeching, terrifying voice. A voice that turned Vince's heart to ice.

"Vince." it hissed. "Vince Noir. I've got him here. He's never coming back. He loves me now. He's always loved me."

Vince shuddered. "You're lying! Give him back to me!"

"Vince Noir - you're a nothing. You're a fake! He see's that now, you couldn't hide it forever. He hates you!"

"No, no. No. No. Howard. Howard. HOWARD!"

--

Vince sat bolt upright in his bed. He was panting heavily and his sheets were drenched in a cold sweat. He looked at the bedside table. 2.08am. Behind the clock, there was a glass of water, he picked it up to reveal two tablets. He'd forgotten to take them. He hated how dependent he'd become on them to help him sleep peacefully.

Frank had insisted he see a doctor for his depression. Vince had gone, resentfully. Fully aware that Frank was only trying to pull him through so that he'd right another album and fund Frank's bloody loft conversion he kept banning on about. The doctor had been nice enough and it had been good to talk about things with someone who legally couldn't run to the press and spill all his darkest secrets. Though at the end of the session the doctor had just handed him the pills and told him they'd help him sleep at night. He hadn't used them at first but after nights of sleepless, nightmare filled nights. Helen had suggested that maybe he try them and that had been the end of that. Now he _needed_ them. Just then, there was a knock on the door.

"Vince, son, You alright in there?" came Jim's Yorkshire lilt.

"Yeah."

"Don't lie to me." Jim smiled, opening the door and stepping in. "You having nightmares again?"

"My life's a nightmare."

"Don't say that. Come downstairs with me. We'll have a hot chocolate or something."

Vince was going to say something about not feeling like it but Jim was only trying to help and besides he liked Howard's dad, so he just nodded and followed the older man in silence.

--

He was sat at the breakfast bar, sipping his drink carefully and gazing at Jim a little strangely.

"What?" smiled the older man, taking a packet of biscuits out of the cupboard and going to join the young rock star.

"You look so much like him." Vince mused.

"He _is_ my son."

"I know, but I never looked like my parents."

"Talented people never do. They're like an entirely separate breed or something."

"Howard's a talented musician."

"Hmmm."

"You know, I can't really remember what he looks like anymore."

"What d'you mean?"

"In my head, his face is blurry. I can't remember him much at all. I can't remember what he smells like." Suddenly, he buried his face in Jim's shoulder and mumbled. "You don't smell like him though."

"Sorry." said Jim, because what do you say to that?

"You know, I ring his phone every night, just to hear his voice on that stupid answer machine."

"You're not the only one. I did it too, last night. Actually, I was going to ask you about that?"

Vince smiled, he knew what was coming.

"Do people actually hear that when they ring him?"

"Yeah, but no one knows his number except me. He can never remember it, when people ask for it so he just gives out mine."

"He remembers yours then?"

"Yeah." smiled Vince again, "Recons it's the number he dials most, usually because I make him ring me back when I've sent him a detailed text about…" suddenly he turned a furious shade of red and said "you don't need to know that."

Just then, there was a solemn knock at the front door and Vince jumped violently.

"Who's…" he started, and then, realising only the police would knock at such a stupid time, he jumped to his feet and ran to the door. He opened it quickly and found himself face to face with a solemn looking officer.

"Have you found him?" Vince asked.

"Can I come in?" The policeman asked solemnly.

"No," Vince began to shake his head like a madman, "you only say things like that if it's serious."

"Well…"

"What's happened?"

"Please Mr Noir, if you'd just let me in."

"Just tell me. Is he alive?"

--

The policeman fixed Vince with a very shocked expression. "He's fine Mr Noir. He's in hospital for a few routine check ups and I believe they're keeping him in over night, just to make sure there's no post traumatic stress. But on the whole he's fine." Vince breathed a sigh of relief. His eyes shone with tears and, without really thinking about what he was doing, he kissed the policeman full on the cheek before turning around and bellowing through the quiet house.

"THEY'VE FOUND HOWARD! HE'S ALIVE!"

* * *

**Sorry if the ending seems rushed I have family coming around in five minutes so I might have tried to finish it too quickly. Just let me know if it does and I'll fix it! =]  
Next chapter should be up sometime next year! lol. (I know it's a childish thing to write but... meh, I am childish!! =]])**

**Thanks for reading!  
Happy New Year!  
Sisi...xx**


	14. Chapter 14

Everything the officer had said after that had become somewhat of a blur to Vince. He'd just sat cross legged in a chair, fidgeting impatiently. Later, what the policeman was saying about too little evidence to prosecute would become very important but at this moment he couldn't care less. He felt like all Christmas' and birthday's had come at once and he knew he was going to get the greatest gift he could ever ask for.

They were sat in the taxi, flying down the road well over the speed limit (because Vince had offered to quadruple the fair if the driver managed to get them to the hospital in half the time), when he first realised the significance of what the policeman had said.

"So…" Alice shrieked, "That bitch is going to walk free?"

"Looks like it." grumbled Helen "There is no justice in this world."

"How?! How can they let her get away with it."

"They say it's her word against Howard's."

"But what about the notes!?"

"They can't prove they're connected to her."

"It's ridiculous!"

"She wont get away with it." Vince promised threateningly from the front seat. "I've got connections and money. I'll get the best lawyers, detectives… whatever we need. She's going to be banged up. I don't care if it costs me every penny I have."

"Aye, well. Let's not think about now though, eh?" Jim piped up for the first time. "A few minutes and we'll be seeing Howard again."

Vince nodded and stared nervously out of the window. Jim was right, a few minutes until he'd be seeing Howard again, but the question was, would Howard want to see him?

--

Vince peered cautiously through the glass pane in the door to Howard's private hospital room. He didn't know if it was nerves or excitement or a mixture of both but his stomach did ferocious somersaults and a lump rose in his throat.

Howard was sat up in the bed wearing a white, slightly too small hospital gown. He was generally looking pretty angry and frustrated. He was fine. There was nothing wrong with him. Charlotte may have kept him locked in a room but she'd given him lots of food and drink and he'd lived quite comfortably, considering. She'd come into the room late every afternoon so that they could spend an evening sipping Baileys or she'd sit and paint watercolours of him, which was a new hobby of hers apparently. She's kissed him, or at least tried too but despite the fact she was the captor, Howard was still a lot bigger and a lot stronger than she was but she'd never hurt him. Not once, after all, she loved him. Despite all Howard's protests and explanations, the doctors wouldn't let him leave, thinking he needed rest. What they didn't understand was that what he _needed_ was Vince.

He'd been watching News 24 all afternoon (because it was the only channel they'd given him) and every five minutes the rock stars face would pop up on TV, then they'd be a clip of Vince pushing Chad away after Chad had tried to kiss him in the club, followed by pictures and video of Vince looking pale and far too thin. The news reporter was saying, "And that was the incident that started it all. The disappearance of Vince's partner Howard Moon. Now, after months of heartbreak and torment, Moon has been found and brought to this hospital, which you can see behind me. Now, we just saw Noir go in about five minutes ago, but we're not allowed to follow them at the moment."

'What?' thought Howard, 'Vince is here.' With that, he caught sight of him, in the window and his heart skipped a beat, well, several as Vince stepped tentatively through the door.

He looked gorgeous; distressed and beautiful. Vince was the kind of person who could turn bawling your eyes out into a beauty contest. Even under the migraine-inducing hospital lights, Howard thought he looked amazing. The lights didn't credit him with the slightly grey tinge they gave everyone else. No, he was the vision of imperfect perfection. Then, their eyes truly met, forcing the younger man to dry his tears and give a feeble half wave. The older man smiled weakly and said, "Hi."

"Hi." Vince repeated. No sooner had the word left his lips, his face screwed up slowly and he burst into tears.

"Hey," soothed Howard, getting up awkwardly from the bed and wrapping his arms around the rock stars shoulders, "what's wrong?"

"N-nothing." the younger man sniffed, nestling into Howard's chest and feeling the older man bury his face into his long hair, "These are happy tears."

They just stood for a while, holding each other. Neither wanting to let go. Eventually, Vince manoeuvred himself so he was looking at Howard, their noses almost touching. A lone tear rolled down the younger man's cheek and Howard mindlessly kissed it away, tucking Vince's hair behind his ear. Vince gave a watery smile and whispered, "Kiss me."

Howard didn't need telling twice and he placed a sweet kiss on his boyfriend's lips. The kiss was slow and full of emotion, pain, distress, love. A kiss that said 'I'm sorry' and 'I forgive you', a kiss that…

"Ahem!" Helen cleared her throat loudly from the doorway. The two men jumped apart and looked up in the direction of the sound.

"Mum." exclaimed Howard, his face draining of all colour. "W-what are you…? I mean, why? I mean…" he glanced nervously at Vince and gabbled, "It's not what it looks like."

Vince gazed up at him looking totally bemused. "Not what it looks like?" he laughed. "What were you doing? Checking my mouth for fillings."

"Shut up!" he hissed, turning redder and redder. "And what are you doing here you bitch?!" he turned to face Alice.

"Howard, Howard." Vince called, touching the older man's face gently and turning him so they were facing each other. "Howard, calm down, it's fine. Alice is sorry, you can see that, can't you?" Howard glanced at his tearful sister and nodded silently. "And your parents, they accept you now. They were amazing to me, whilst you were… you know."

"Really?" Howard asked looking at his dad, who wore an expression of definite pride and then at his mother, who wore an expression of faked pride. 'At least she's trying' he thought.

"Yes, son." beamed Jim. "You're mother and I have realised that we can't stop you from doing what you want and we want to be part of your life, despite your choices."Howard smiled, "Thanks dad.". Everyone turned to look expectantly at Helen.

"What?" she asked.

"Don't you have something to say." hissed Jim.

"Oh, yeah. You're in love with… him. I get it, I accept you. It's… fine."

"You don't look so sure about that, mum?" Howard said uneasily.

"No, I am sure. You're my son and I love you, despite everything. And anyway, Vince is a lovely boy."

"It's been a long time since I've been called that." giggled Vince. "Gorgeous, yes. Sex god, course."

"Vince." warned Howard under his breath. "Too much information in front of my parents."

"Sorry." he grinned.

"Come here." smiled Howard, resuming the kiss from before with equal emotion and added passion, causing Helen to hide behind her hands.

"What are you doing? I thought you were okay with it now." said Jim.

"I am," insisted Helen a little too loudly, "but I don't need it shoved down my throat." she looked up, just as Vince moved his tongue expertly into Howard's mouths. "I wish I'd used a different turn of phrase now. And why does Vince feel the need to blurt out private information?"

Jim laughed and then said, "If you think this is bad you should have heard him earlier. God knows what he nearly told me."

"Oh yeah," Alice chimed in, "He's got a horrible habit of telling you about their private business. When he lived with me for a bit, he used to just blurt it out for no apparent reason."

"I can hear you, you know." Vince said, pushing Howard away and scowling at the Moon's.

"Hey," Howard moaned, as he connected with Vince's cheek. "Hey, come back." Eventually, he found Vince's mouth again and between kisses he sighed, "Anyway, it's true."

"What"-kiss-"is?" Vince asked.

"You do have a habit of saying things a totally inappropriate moment."

Vince pushed him away.

"If you're still banging on about that time when you decided it would be sexy to do it in the pool and then I remembered that we'd left the oven on." Howard went a furious shade of red and suddenly became very interested in his shoes. Vince looked over to where Howard's family were stood, they too were looking at the floor. "This is another one of those moments, isn't it?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah." Howard said, smiling despite just shrugged and said, "The worst thing about it was it put you right off your stride and we nearly drowned."

Howard laughed as the memories, quite literally, came flooding back to him and suddenly he was laughing and crying all at once. All the pent up emotion being released at once.

He dragged the rock star into a big hug, kissing him on the top of the head.

"I love you Vince Noir."

"I love you too Howard."

* * *

**I think maybe two more chapters because I really think we need a wedding now? Anyone else?**

**Anyway, this is officially my longest story ever… woooo! What a land breaking record mark! Lol. =]**

**(Also, as a sort of heads up: I was watching Edward Scissor Hands over Christmas and had an idea for a AU fic. about a reclusive (Howard) and an outcast (Vince), bit of magic/ bit of love/ bit of fairy tale good luck… was wondering what you all thought…)  
****Merci for reading!!!**

**Sisi…xx**


	15. Chapter 15

**I know lot's of new characters in AU's get confusing (at least it confuses me). So, just in case you've forgotten (I know I would have) Frank is Vince's agent! **

* * *

"Where are we going?" whined Vince, as Howard got out of the limo pulling the younger man after him.

"You'll see now, stop whinging."

"I'm cold." The young rock star shivered.

"You can have my jacket."

"I don't think so," smiled Vince, "sweet as that is, you're boring brown would destroy this look." he posed dramatically and Howard smiled at him. Vince did look amazing tonight and irritatingly, he knew it. When Howard had told him to make himself gorgeous, he hadn't realised Vince would pull out quite so many stops. He'd spent hours on his hair and make up. He'd pulled out his tightest jeans and his clingiest t-shirt and for some reason he'd topped it off with a long feathery coat. A _thin,_ long feathery coat, which the icy wind was cutting straight through.

"Come here." grinned Howard, pulling Vince towards him and wrapping his arms around him before kissing him sweetly.

"Mmm," mumbled Vince, "That was nice."

"Yeah. Come on." Howard said, taking his hand and pulling him up a small path.

"Why do I get the feeling there's not going to be lovely restaurant at the end of this path."

"Stop whinging."

"When you said dress up, I didn't expect to go trekking over mountains."

"It's not far now."

"These boots were white when we started out this evening, now look at them they're… oh wow." he breathed, as they reached the top of the hill. The view was spectacular. The stars lit up the sky, the moon was round and full and had a slightly orange glow. For miles and miles there were lights. Some moving (cars), some stationary (houses and street lamps) and in distance bright blue and yellow flames danced rhythmically.

"It's beautiful." Vince sighed, turning around to find Howard laying down a picnic blanket. "What are you doing?" he laughed fondly.

"Sitting down," answered Howard, tapping the blanket next down to him, indicating Vince should do the same. Vince did, snuggling up to the older man, who instinctively wrapped his arm around his partners skinny waist. "You know," Howard sighed, "This place is horrible in the day light."

"I don't believe you."

"It is. It's all buildings and roads and that floating blue flame…"

"It's beautiful."

"It's a steelworks. In daylight it's a great big grey industrial monster."

"Shhh, don't spoil it."

"Sorry." smiled Howard, pressing a kiss into Vince's hair.

It was beautiful there. It's was peaceful watching the lights dancing below them, the flame flickering hypnotically in the distance.

"You gonna ask me then?" Vince asked suddenly.

"Ask you what?" Howard squeaked.

"Oh come on." laughed Vince, sitting up and turning to look at the rumbled older man. "You tell me to dress up, you're wearing you're best suit and you've got that expensive cologne on."

"So?"

"You bring me to this place, which is just breathtaking… and you've got something in you're pocket, which is shaped suspiciously like a ring box."

Howard blushed furiously. "You weren't supposed to see that." he frowned.

"Yeah, but come on, in those trousers… it's not my fault if my eyes keep being drawn downwards, is it?"

"How can you say that? I'm refraining from looking down and your trousers are so tight it looks like you painted them on."

"Liar." smirked Vince, "I saw you checking out my perfect arse."

"Well…" Howard was going to come up with a brilliant retaliation, but Vince's blue eyes were burning his soul. "What?" he asked.

"Hurry up and ask me so we can get on with the kissing."

"But I wanted it to be perfect and now it's not."

"Are you kidding?" scorned Vince. "You're here. I'm here. We're sat on a picnic blanket on a hill and the backdrop is unbelievable. Jesus, Howard. It's like a scene from a cheesy romance film. How is this not perfect?"

"It was supposed to be a surprise."

"I can act surprised if it'll make you feel better."

"Now you're just being stupid."

"Howard, don't ruin it. Just ask me, then I can say 'yes' and we can down to the real business."

Howard cocked an eyebrow. "What, here?"

"It's quiet and there's no camera's."

"It's not camera's I'm worried about. It's him." Howard whispered, looking over to where Vince's bodyguard stood a few meters away watching them like a hawk.

"Ignore him." Vince said, scattering hundreds of tiny kisses all over Howard's jaw.

"I can't just ignore him."

"Yeah, well… he'll ignore us."

"What?"

"Come on, Frank hired him. He's a big butch man. To him two blokes kissing is like acid for his eyes. If he watches us for long enough, he'll soon run off looking for some tart to screw to demonstrate his masculinity." Vince struck a pose that was comically masculine for a man wearing a coat with pink and blue feathers on it. "That, or…" Vince trailed off.

"Or what?"

"Well, it wouldn't be the first time I'd turned a seemingly straight man gay."

"You know," Howard said thoughtfully, "maybe this wedding isn't such a good idea."

"What?! Why!?"

"Well, I'm never going to love you as much as you love yourself." Howard chuckled.

"Oh come off it." Vince gave him a light slap on the shoulder, "you know I'm only joking." And then, after a moment of silence. "Ask me now."

"Do I need to be on one knee?"

Vince laughed "No. Oh, your nervous." he added, noticing Howard's hands shaking as he retrieved the box from his pocket.

"Yeah, well, I'm allowed to be nervous, look at you. You're gorgeous."

"True, but you ain't so bad yourself." he smiled, "And." he added, touching the older man's cheek lightly, "don't be nervous. I'm going to say 'yes'."

"Okay." Howard drew a deep breath and had hardly uttered 'Will you…' when Vince cried, "Yes." and launched himself at the older man like an excitable puppy, kissing him like his life depended on it. "Hey Roger." he called to the bodyguard who was beginning to look incredibly uncomfortable. "You enjoying the show?"

"Do you mind?" Howard asked a little irritably from his position under Vince.

"What?"

"It's bad enough he's there killing the mood like a mum on a first date, without you talking to him."

"Did your mum go on your first date?" giggled Vince.

"No." Howard answered too quickly and too loudly.

"Oh dear. What did your poor girlfriend think?"

"She didn't think much at all, she was thick as double cream."

Vince laughed again and resumed his kissing with full force. Somehow the ring must have ended up on Vince's finger because Howard felt the cold metal running down his back as Vince whispered huskily in his ear,

"Come on, let's go home."

---

The piercing _ring-ring _of the phone sliced through Vince's dreams, dragging him sharply into consciousness with a loud groan.

"Who rings this early? Don't they know we got engaged last night?" Vince mumbled rolling over, his eyes still tightly shut. As though he thought that by keeping them closed the phone would stop ringing and he'd go back to sleep.

"Apparently not. Answer it." Howard muttered groggily.

"You answer it."

"It's on your side of the bloody bed!"

"Argh!" Vince cried. Howard opened his eyes and watched Vince stretch out a slender arm behind him, tapping blindly at his bedside table, knocking stuff everywhere until he found the receiver and brought it to his ear.

"Hello," he croaked. "Hello… there's no one there."

"Vince open your eyes, the phone's upside down."

"Oh" said the younger man, opening one eye and, squinting in the low sun that streamed through the window, turned the phone the right way up. "Hello." he repeated. "Mmm, what magazine?… 'Okay' Magazine… for our wedding photo's?… how do you even know we're getting… oh I see…"

Howard looked puzzled.

'Frank told them' he mouthed before continuing, "Yeah, yeah I'm still here… you're gonna give us how much!?" he looked eagerly at Howard but was met by a solemn shake of the head. "Fine." the rock star muttered. "Sorry." he said to the phone, "We're not interested… double it?!… no, no. No money's enough. Thanks anyway. Bye." He placed the phone back on the stand and turned to look at Howard, who leant forward and kissed him softly, saying "Thank you."

"Mmm, well, you better be worth it Howard Moon. That was a lot of money."

"How much?"

"You don't want to know."

"I do."

"No, trust me you don't."

Howard gave up and shifted on to his elbow to better look at his new fiancé, who was carefully inspecting his ring.

("_No gold," he'd warned Howard ages ago, when they 'weren't' discussing what kind of engagement ring Vince would want. "Gold makes me look like a chav. White gold's okay. In fact I want white gold."  
"Isn't that expensive?"  
"Like you're going to be paying for it."  
"Huh?"  
"You're going to use our joint account to buy it, which is all my money and I've got plenty of it. You better spend a lot on it mind, no cheap Argos rubbish."  
"Give me some credit. I'm going to a nice jewellers."  
"It's a bit sad that I'm going to be buying my own engagement ring."  
"Who says it's an engagement ring? It isn't. I'm just buying you a plain boring old ring, with no marriage significance at all."  
"Yeah, sure Howard. Whatever you say."  
"Anyway, money's just money. Choosing the right one, that's the hard bit and I'm choosing it."  
"That's what I'm worried about, get Alice to help you, yeah? She's got impeccable taste."  
Then he'd swanned off into the kitchen humming 'I'm getting married in the morning'._)

Vince had been pleasantly surprised by the outcome. The ring wasn't too feminine but it wasn't a man's ring (because Vince swore they were too big for his slender fingers and weighed him down). Vince had only spoken to a few people since he'd received the ring, but his left hand had spent the entire time practically glued to his face, until the person in question inquired about his new ring. It was a beautiful cut and there were loads of tiny little diamonds scattered around it so that the low morning sun was catching it and making thousands of tiny rainbows on the wall.

"You know if we broke up…" Howard said suddenly, breaking the peace of the morning.

"Don't say that." whined Vince.

"No, but _if_ we broke up, I'd have nothing."

"What you talking about?"

"Well, I mean, you own the house, the cars, the land, you own all the priceless collections of random rubbish you've got and the…"

"It's not random rubbish. And anyway, that's all going to be half yours soon though." he smiled, pointing at his ring.

"I thought we'd have to get a prenuptial agreement."

"Prenuptial agreement? No way! That's for people who think they're going to get divorced in the future. Why would we want that?"

"Well, in case I'm just marrying you for your money and I divorce you and take everything you own."

"I'll take my chances, anyway, I doubt someone who was planning to take my money would suggest a prenup."

"It's part of my elaborate and rather cunning plan. Make you feel secure and then, bam. It's Paul McCartney and Heather Mills all over again."

"Except you have two legs, aren't from Liverpool and don't speak in octaves only dogs can hear."

"What makes you think your McCartney in that scenario?"

"Come on, he's almost as talented as me."

Howard shook his head lovingly at Vince's unrelenting arrogance.

"Hey, Frank's not going to be happy with you not protecting your money, is he?"

"Nope, which is another reason why I'm definitely not getting you to sign any premarital agreements like he said I should. Actually, there is one thing I do kinda need to ask."

"What?" Howard asked suspiciously.

"Well, it's about surnames. I need to stay as Vince Noir, otherwise my fans might get confused."

"What, are all your fans idiots?"

Vince giggled and said "Some of them. No it's not that, is it? It's just if I release an album as Vince Noir-Moon, or Moon-Noir of just Moon. It wont be an album by Vince Noir."

"Well observed." smirked Howard.

"You know what I mean. People get confused when artists change their names. I got completely confused when Prince turned himself into a symbol."

"Yeah, but to be fair that was confusing."

"Mmm." Suddenly, Vince beamed at Howard and jumped out of bed saying, "Well lot's of things to be getting on with."

"Like what?"

"Weddings don't plan themselves you know. If you want any kind of say at all you'll have to get up now." He grinned, "I've already planned most of it in my head."

"You're kidding."

"I'm not."

* * *

**The view from the beginning it based on Port Talbot Steelworks, which is a big ugly factory that isn't massively far from where I live. It's probably the most hideous thing in the world in the daylight but at night, I swear to god, it's unbelievable. At least, I love it. All my friend's and family think I'm mad, but then again they think that anyway. I don't think I really did it justice with the description, but then again, description has never been my forte.**

**And I know it was a cheap stab at Heather Mills and I actually don't dislike her really, she's never done anything to upset me personally - I just thought as reference's go, it worked.**

**Anyway, one chapter to go (I think)!! It's all getting a bit complicated in my head so it may stretch over to two but I doubt it, I shall rein it it like a wild stallion. =[.**

**Thanks to everyone who's stuck with it so far! Love and pink and blue cola bottle sweets (you know the ones, they're the best sweets in the world) to you all.**

**Sisi…xx**


	16. Chapter 16

_Mm, Mm, Mm, Mm,  
Just the way you look to-night._

"There you are everyone, the first dance." cheered Mick Jagger from the stage. Yes, Mick Jagger. Apparently Vince had put in one call and the Stones had been more that happy to play at their reception. Vince reached up and kissed Howard gently. "And can we just say congratulations to Vince and Howard." Jagger added as a spot light from the top of the over the top, ridiculously expensive gazebo landed straight on the newlyweds. Vince struck an overtly girlish pose and giggled like an excitable child.

"Ahhh, we're married!" cried Vince suddenly, crushing his mouth onto Howard's.

"I know." laughed the older man.

"Hey, aren't we supposed to dance with each others parents now?"

"Well…"

"That's tradition."

"Yeah, but…"

"What?"

"Well, I'm not sure my mum's gonna want to dance with you."

"Course she will." Vince grinned, "everyone wants to dance with me. My mums… somewhere, go and ask her.""You're mum's drunk.""Well, durh!" Vince scorned "She's always drunk, it's her think. Doesn't mean you shouldn't dance with her though."

"Howard." a soft sultry voice came from behind him. The older man spun around and Vince grinned, "Alright mum?""Yes, there's a free bar. Why wouldn't I be alright?" Howard visibly rolled his eyes earning himself a dig in the ribs from his husband.

"You look nice, Mrs Noir" lied Howard. The truth was he thought she looked like a hooker but what was the point in bringing that up on his wedding day.

"Thank you and call me Diane." she giggled. "Now, I think you owe me a dance."

"Umm…" Howard pulled at this collar, trying to relieve the slightly sick feeling, which was quickly rising in his throat. "I don't really like dancing."

"Go on Howard." laughed Vince giving Howard a gentle push in the direction of the dance floor. "I think she fancy's you a bit. She said yesterday that you were a 'real man'."

"As appose to what?"

"A pretend man… like me." Vince smiled, just as Jagger started on the next song.

_My love, there's only you in my life,  
The only thing that's right.  
My first love, you're every breath that I take,  
You're every step I make.  
And I, I want to share, all my love with you,  
No one else will do.  
And your eyes, they tell me how much you care.  
Oh yes, you will always be, my endless love. _

"Is he having a laugh?" Howard hissed in Vince's ear, still trying to avoid dancing with his intoxicated mother-in-law.

"Who?"

"This band. The songs are sickening."

"This band? That's The Rolling Stones, they're almost as good as I am and that's saying something. Anyway, the songs aren't sickening. They're romantic. It _is_ our wedding. You know, you are the least romantic person I know." laughed Vince, then he placed a gentle kiss on Howard's cheek and said, "I'm going to find Helen. Enjoy your dance."

Howard, realising he had no more excuses, succumbed to the pressure from Mrs Noir and followed her awkwardly to the dance floor.

Vince made a beeline for the Moon's table, stopping right in front of Helen, hand outstretched in an overly dramatic 'prince-charming' style bow.

"Helen, my beautiful mum…in-law. Would you do me the great honour of joining me for this dance?"

Alice rolled her eyes but Helen just laughed, "What are you like?" she asked, blushing a little. "I can't dance."

"Alice?" he said, looking at the brunette hopefully.

"I don't think so, it's hard enough walking in these shoes let alone dancing in them."

"Get off, they're not as high as mine."

"That's not something you're supposed to admit." Alice laughed.

"Jim?" Vince asked hopefully. "Come on, don't let me down."

"Don't push your luck son."

"Oh." grumbled Vince, flopping down into a chair, "what is wrong with you lot? Doesn't anyone with the surname 'Moon' dance?"

"I do." said a weird cousin from a table a few meters away. Vince eyed her for a second. She was large, wearing a bright pink dress that was to small for her and had greasy hair and too much make-up.

"Oh, you're beautiful." Vince said totally sincerely and held out his hand and led her to the dance floor.

"And that's the effect of the full Noir charm offensive." smiled Alice, watching the cousin blushing and giggling and snorting like a pig.

It wasn't long before Howard escaped from Vince's mother and sat down at the table.

"Oh Howard," scorned his mother. "Your tie is all askew. Come here."

"Mum, I'm not six. Get off."

"Well, how did it get like that?"

"Don't ask." Howard sulked, catching the eye of Mrs Noir across the room, who waved in a way he supposed was meant to be seductive.

"And did you have to invite quite so many people from our family?" Helen asked in a low voice.

"Why?"

"Well, I mean… you know what Eddie's like."

"Do I?"

"Yes, he's never understood the gays." Howard rolled his eyes and looked at his dad, who just wore an expression that said 'ignore her, she's trying' "And did Granny really need to see you cavorting with another man? She's on the edge of crazy as it is. That'll tip her over the edge."

"Well, Granny thinks Vince is an ugly woman and Eddie tried it on with Vince twice before he worked out he was a man, so I wouldn't worry about him."

"Ahh, but then there's Rachael. She's as anti-gay as they come and what about…"

"So Howard," Alice cut in quickly, "how come you decided to have the reception in your house?"

"It's not in the house, is it? It's in the garden. And it was nicer than everywhere else we looked at."

"It _is_ beautiful out here." sighed Helen, noting the flowers that had been dotted around and the tasteful gold and white surrounding decorations, which matched Vince's suit.

"He looks great too." added Alice, nodding at rock star. Howard had to agree, Vince looked drop dead gorgeous.

--

_Howard stood nervously at the alter. They'd both decided it should be Vince who walked down the aisle. It somehow seemed more natural that way and the older man was pretty sure that seeing her son walking the bridal march would have pushed Helen over the edge. It was a miracle she was even there considering the hard time she'd given him in the past, he wasn't about to make it difficult for her. Anyway, Vince loved to be centre of attention._

"_Is he definitely coming?" Howard asked Alice, who he'd chosen as his best woman__. (Well, it wasn't a conventional wedding. It didn't really matter who was stood next to him holding the rings.)_

"_Of course he's definitely coming." Alice scorned, "Oh… hello. What's happening now?" she smiled as Billy Idol's White Wedding struck up. "Nice song choice." she laughed._

"_That was Vince. He decided that he…" But Alice never found out what Vince decided because Howard was suddenly, and quite understandably, distracted by the vision that was walking down the aisle towards him._

"_You look amazing.__"__ whispered Howard, when Vince reached him._

"_You too.__"__ Vince had breathed and then they'd turned to look at the reverend. _

--

"Is Vince going to be giving us a concert?" asked Jim, a little hopefully.

"I think he was planning to do a few songs." smiled Howard, "can't help himself, he loves it up there."

"I bought one of his albums you know." grinned Jim.

"You didn't?" laughed Howard.

"Yeah, it was bloody good too."

"I know. I just wouldn't have thought it was your kind of thing."

"Well… I'm open to new things. It's the one you played on. Good bit of sax there son."

"Erm…thanks." Howard blushed, it was the first compliment his father had given him in years and he wasn't entirely sure how to react.

"I'm thirsty. Anyone need a drink?" asked Alice.

"No, you're alright."

"No thanks sweetheart."

"Umm, no. I'll stick with this."

Alice tottered off wobbling dangerously.

"She really can't walk in those heels, can she?" laughed Howard as his sister fell almost straight into Vince, who caught her expertly before she fell straight into the pool

"Woah! You nearly went for a swim then." he laughed.

"It's these stupid shoes!" she grumbled taking them off and launching them into the water "I can't walk in heels!"

"Me neither." said Frank, in a feeble attempt at a joke. "Aren't you going to introduce us Vince?" Vince's face screwed up in disgust.

"She's too young for you." he hissed.

"Introduce us! Or this new album you're talking about wont go ahead." his agent whispered back

"Whatever." Then he turned to Alice. "Alice, Frank. Frank, Alice."

"Would you like me to get your shoes back for you?" Frank asked, then deciding that sounded a bit desperate he added "I was thinking of going for a swim anyway."

"I wouldn't." smirked Alice. "Not if you knew what Vince and Howard got up to in there."

"Urgh, no!"

"What?" asked Vince, with a weak attempt at sounding completely innocent.

"You, Howard, pool. That's wrong surely."

"No, we're not fussy. Pool, garden, walk in wardrobe… every room in the house."

"Yes. Me and my ex-wife did that." boasted Frank.

Vince leant in very close and whispered, "In one night." Frank's jaw dropped and he watched Vince saunter off. He recovered enough to speak, just before Vince got out of ear shot.

"Woah Vince."

The rock star turned back. "What?"

"How many rooms have you got in this house?"

"Including the wardrobes?"

"Yeah."

"17," He winked and left.

"He's bluffing, isn't he?" Frank asked, turning to Alice. She just shrugged, she didn't know and she really didn't want to know.

--

"Hey gorgeous." grinned Vince, pressing his stomach against Howard's back and slipping his arms around Howard's waist.

"Hello, I've been looking for you." Howard grinned, spinning around in the smaller man's arms.

"Why?"

"Well, someone just came up to me and asked me if we'd done it 17 times in one night."

"Really?" laughed Vince, "I'm surprised it got back to you so quickly. What did you tell them?"

"I just said I'd missed you… a lot."

Vince grinned as an announcement came from the stage.

"And now we have a very special treat for you all, please welcome on stage… Vince Noir."

"Go on." smiled Howard, placing a gentle kiss on Vince's forehead.

"You know." Vince said, "I'll give this up if you wanted me too."

"Give what up?"

"Everything, the music, the fame. I saw what it did to us, I'll announce this as my last gig, if you want."

"Don't you dare." warned Howard. "You love being onstage, you give that up for me and you'll never forgive yourself and I'll never forgive you for being an idiot."

"Oh thank god!" Vince cried, the relief obvious on his face. "I'm so glad you said that."

Howard just shook his head fondly. "You don't want to give it up then."

"No, I love performing, I love everyone watching me." then he went a bit pink and said "I would've given it up though, if you'd asked me to."

"Thanks. Now, get on stage. Your audience awaits."

Howard watched his husband pushing through the crowds to the stage and he grinned.

--

"_We are gathered here today to celebrate the joining of two of God's children; Vince Noir and Howard Moon…""Yeah, can't we just skip this bit?" Vince asked._

"_You can't just skip a bit." laughed Howard._

"_Come on Reverend. You've done this a million times. It must be boring. Just do the legal bit and then we can go for a booze up!""We may as well have gone to a registry office." sighed the older man."Get lost. This place is amazing."_

_Howard had to agree it was amazing. Big stain glass windows, gorgeous old brick work, it looked like a castle from a fairy tale._

"_I can't skip any of it, sorry Mr Noir."_

"_Fine." Vince sighed. "Carry on."_

_--_

"Hey guys." There was a loud cheer from the guests. "Okay, I'm only doing a few songs and I'm gonna start off with a song from my new album. Here that Frank, I've said it now, you have to make it happen. I wrote this whilst Howard was… away." His vision glazed for a second, but he quickly composed himself, "Now, I want everyone to get up and dance. And that includes you… Helen, Jim. Up you get." The pair got reluctantly to their feet as Vince announced them as, "Howard's parents everyone." A cheer erupted, not because they were particularly excited about Howard's parents but because they were Vince's audience now and they'd do whatever he wanted. "And as we all know, it is tradition for the father of a groom to dance with his sons spouse, so… look out for that later." He grinned cheekily as Jim shouted something indistinguishable and Vince said, "Hey Jim, you'll have to dance with me now. I've told everyone it's going to happen. They'll be disappointed otherwise." Another indistinguishable comeback and Vince was about to say something else when Howard yelled,

"Get on with it then!"

"Oi, you!" laughed Vince "It's not to late to divorce you, you know. Right, let's get this party started!"

_I cant believe I said I'd lay our love on the ground  
But it doesnt matter cause I've made it up forgive me now  
Everyday I spend away my souls inside out  
Gotta be someway that I can make it up to you now, somehow.  
_

Vince was strutting around the stage and, in Howard's opinion, seeing as his parents were watching being far too sensual when he sang. It seemed Vince was taking the whole 'make love to the camera' rule a little too literally when the hired photographer starting snapping photo's.

_  
By now you'd know that I'd come for you  
No one but you, yes I'd come for you  
But only if you told me to  
And I'd fight for you  
I'd lie, it's true  
Give my life for you  
You know I'd always come for you_

I was blindfolded, but now im seeing  
My mind was closing, now I'm believing  
I finally know what just what it means to let someone in  
To see the side of me that no one does or ever will  
So if your ever lost and find yourself all alone  
I'd search forever just to bring you home,  
Here and now this I vow

By now you'd know that I'd come for you  
No one but you, yes I'd come for you  
But only if you told me to  
And I'd fight for you  
I'd lie, it's true  
Give my life for you  
You know I'd always come for you  
You know I'd always come for you

"He look's good up there." beamed Alice, kissing her brother on his cheek.

"He does." grinned Howard.

"But you always thinks he looks good?"

"Well…"

"I'm glad you two have sorted everything out."

"Yeah."

"And I'm glad we're speaking again too."

"Me too." smiled Howard, hugging his sister.

"And Vince is a bit of a miracle worker, isn't he?"

"He is?" smirked Howard, raising his eyebrows.

"Not that you pervert!" Alice laughed "What I meant was, he's managed to get you and mum and dad talking."

"Yeah, he's amazing."

"And, he got that bitch Charlotte charged and sent down."

"I know, he bought the best lawyer in the country." They both watched as Vince made a strange very suggestive movement. Howard slapped his forehead. "Mum and Dad are watching this." he groaned.

"I know." she laughed. "I bet mum's hating it."

They just watched for a second and then Howard said,

"Do I deserve him?"

"Yes. Don't you ever question that. He's positively glowing today. He loves you, you great idiot and you better not doubt that again."

Howard looked up at Vince, who winked at him and blew him a kiss. Somehow, he managed it in a way that wasn't at all childish or cheesy… it was full of want and lust and love and, yes, as always with Vince, it was very sexy.

"No," smiled Howard, "No, I don't doubt it."

_No matter what gets in my way  
As long as there's still life in me  
No matter what, remember you know I'll always come for you  
I'd crawl across this world for you  
Do anything you want me to  
No matter what, remember you know I'll always come for you  
You know I'll always come for you_

"And that's dedicated to my amazing, gorgeous, sexy, sorry Helen, _husband_. Hey everyone, I'm married! Ahh! Sorry, I got overcome with excitement then, what I meant was… I love you Howard. I have ever since I saw you… looking pretty ridiculous in the rain. And I'm going to love you forever. That's right lover." He grinned "No escape! Now, where's Jim? Mick's gonna play a particularly next and I want a dance."

--

_"I Howard Moon choose you, Vince Noir in front of our friends and family gathered here to be the one true love of my life. I will cherish every second of our time together as the seasons of our lives change. I promise never to doubt you again and whatever challenges may come our way, we will face them together, side by side. I will love you forever and give you strength when you need it. Just like you gave me strength when I needed it."_

_"And Vince."_

_"I Vince Noir choose you, Howard Moon to be my partner in life. In front of our friends and family gathered here I promise to love and cherish you throughout good times and bad times. I promise to not go on **huge **spending spree's and to not trash the house when I get drunk." There was a tinkle of laughter through the congregation. "And I promise not to play my rock music too loudly, when you're reading or doing something else equally boring." Howard smiled. "I'm not very good with words Howard, you know that, but I can honestly promise to love you forever and ever and ever and more."_

_"You may now kiss."_

**--**

**Woop!**

**Endy, endy end end.**

**Hope you enjoyed it!**

**Thanks for reading, and thanks everyone who reviewed!! You're all amazing!!**

**Sisi…xx**

**D/C: The Song is Nickleback I'll Come For You! I don't own it, but I do have The Rolling Stones trapped in a cabinet - that's where Noel and Julian came up with the Gary Numan idea and the crimp *nods***


End file.
